Relationships4 min(s) read
Sex worker reveals condition that must be met before sleeping with people with disabilities
A sex worker has revealed the conditions she has for working with clients with disabilities - including the ones she has to turn down.
Spicy Saurora, a sexologist and dominatrix, opened up on the Tea at Four podcast about her line of work.
As well as catering to able-bodied individuals and couples, a large percentage of Saurora's clients have disabilities or are looking to heal from trauma.
She revealed why she finds it rewarding to cater to everyone, and allow clients with physical disabilities to explore their sexuality without judgment.
Saurora explained: "I’ve got a beautiful client who’s got muscular dystrophy, [others have] cerebral palsy, are blind, there’s shaken baby syndrome. Usually they’ve had cerebral palsy, that seems to be the main one, spinal cord injury but he also had a brain injury - he fell off scaffolding. A lot of spinal cord injuries, a lot from accidents and that is really hard.
“It’s completely different for each person, I’ve got some clients whose carers contact me, their parents contact me. I had a client last week who had shaken baby syndrome, so he was shaken as a baby - he’s such a lovely guy, and he’s a comedian.
"I got there and the woman was like ‘Hi, I’m mom’ and I was like ‘ok, hi…’ I’m still kind of like ‘this is weird, what do I say’, and she said ‘I’ve been the one that’s been emailing you.’ because he can’t because his hands are [affected]. She said ‘what you’re doing is absolutely amazing and I think everybody needs a person like you because people just see his disability, they don’t see him as a person.’"
While Saurora is used to the physical challenges, she revealed the cases where she has to turn down potential clients.
"Mental disabilities. There are obviously men who are 40 but might have a very young mental age, and how the hell you figure that or work with that I don’t know," she admitted.
"Obviously I need to know a lot about the disability beforehand and I need to speak to them because then I can determine where their mental age is at. So that one is a tough one."
With many of her clients having additional physical needs or complex medical conditions, Saurora revealed that their safety can be a concern.
She explained: "I didn’t expect that I would be changing catheters, sorting out machines, using hoists, getting ramps, knowing how wheelchairs work, helping people out of their car with the wheelchair van and understanding all the mechanics and stuff.
"Ultimately, I’ve got to make sure that they don’t die, because I’ve had experiences very, very close to that."
She recalled one particularly scary moment: "I had one guy who’s got muscular dystrophy and he’s on a ventilator, and I walked into the room and there was machines everywhere, and I was like ‘woah’.
"And his mom was like ‘if the tube comes out of his nose, you need to shout me because we only have a few seconds.’ He’s a lovely guy, super chill and funny but I had to be so careful that that tube did not come out of his nose.
"I had to learn how to use the beds because there’s no training in this, like what care workers or nurses get to work with people with disabilities, so I’ve literally learned on the job.
"I started moving the bed and all of a sudden, machines started beeping, and I was like ‘oh my god, it’s happening.’
"I was there with no clothes on, all my toys out, ready to give him a show and he was there naked and it all started beeping and I was like ‘oh, what do we do?! Do you want me to get your mom?’ and he was like ‘I think you better had.’
"So I put my clothes on as quickly as possible, hide all my toys, make it look ‘normal’, even though she knew obviously but it doesn’t need to be put in her face what we’re doing."
Thankfully, when the mom did enter the room, she determined that the cause of the beeping was air stuck in the mattress of the bed rather than a medical emergency.
Saurora also revealed what she wishes people would know about those with disabilities, explaining: "People just see their disability before they see them. They don’t see a human being.
"I had one client who had severe cerebral palsy. He could walk but I went to meet him at the tube station and walked with him to where I was staying and the amount of looks that we got were unbelievable."
Catch the full episode of Tea at Four with Spicy Saurora and all other episodes on Spotify and YouTube now.