Many women and men out there may need to be wined, dined, and on their fifth date to even consider sleeping with someone. However, Elysia Downings has a whole other philosophy on dating: the 28-year-old always beds her date on their first meeting.
Elysia, who runs underwear and sex toy company called Betsy Boudoir, claims that having sex on the first date helps to weed out the "time wasters" and there are many other positives to it too.
"I don’t see anything wrong with always sleeping with men on first dates – in fact, there are benefits," she said. "If a guy is only interested in having sex with you, regardless of whether you do that on the first date or ten dates later, they’re going to disappear. So by having sex with them on the first date, you can work out where the relationship is going to end up. It helps make sure you're not wasting your time."
The single mum, who also reportedly makes roughly £500 ($660) per day performing various sex acts on camera online, admits she's been slut-shamed, but says it won't stop her doing exactly what she wants. Describing her usual dates, she claims she normally meets men online, through either dating sides or social media, where she "slides into their DMs".
Discussing how her dates normally go down, she told The Sun: "I know straight away that I’m going to sleep with a man. Then I subtly let them know that I’m interested with my body language. I might not directly say "let’s go to bed" – I give a good flirt. There’s lots of eye contact and tactile touching.
"But I don’t make the first move – I give them clear signals and leave it to them. After drinks, sometimes I’ll suggest we go to mine or they’ll suggest we go to theirs."
Despite proclaiming she wants sex to be like a "passionate movie scene," Elysia admits that sometimes it can be far from it. Confessing that she's had her fair share of "really bad experiences as well as really good," she told The Sun that she's had men who've checked Instagram while they're lying in bed together and doesn't always orgasm with her dates.
"It’s always the goal but it’s not always a guarantee, she explained. "I have never faked it. I wouldn’t let them have the satisfaction of faking it – they need to know what they’re doing. None of them have ever said they’ve been disappointed that I haven’t orgasmed. "
The 28-year-old, who uses condoms and regularly gets checked for STIs, continued: "Overall, with the men I’ve slept with on the first date, I’ve had more negative sexual experiences than ones that I’ve thought were definitely worth it.
"I’m always learning from the negative ones and although I try my best not to act impulsively, sometimes it’s easy to get carried away in the moment. At the end of the day, it’s my choice. But the sex is always better when you’re a bit more comfortable with each other."
Overall, Elysia believes her decision to sleep with men on the first date doesn't hinder her chances of finding love and claims to have had long-term relationships with men she's bedded straight away.
And as for her critics? Her message to them is to stop "slut-shaming".
"I do think how women behave sexually is judged different to how men act – and it’s more women judging other women," she said. "Women can make the problem worse, instead of supporting each other we slut-shame each other when we should be lifting each other up."
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