A lot of
recreational drugs are illegal in the USA and for good reason. Some of them can lead to severe health problems, others can cause a dangerous lapse of judgment in some people, and, on occasion, the consumption of certain illegal substances can even result in a fatality.
Therefore, it's no understatement to say that 36-year-old Keith Thurston took a risk when he consumed a "large quantity of Molly (MDMA)" this week. The exact amount he'd taken wasn't disclosed, but the police seemed pretty shocked (or perhaps even impressed) at how well he'd held up, given the circumstances.
Fortunately for Thurston, the
drug trip didn't cause him too much harm.
However, while Keith may not have caused himself bodily harm, his exploits
did prompt him to steal a swan boat and row out to fountain in the middle of an Orlando lake, which eventually led to him getting arrested. So, on balance, the experience wasn't all good.
Law enforcement officers were called to rescue Thurston after the vessel he
acquired apparently floated away while he was hanging out in the fountain.
When he was questioned by the police about why exactly he had chosen to venture out into the middle of a lake at 4am in the first place, he responded by saying, "The swans don’t judge me."
In fairness, he's probably right about that. But, while the swans remained impartial on Thurston's decision to take a load of Mandy and embark on an impromptu exploration trip, the police officers and firefighters who had to spend their night dragging him out of a fountain probably had some strong feelings on the matter.
At first, it was believed that the Floridian may have been attempting to hurt himself, but he pointed out that he had gone to the deliberate effort of wearing one of the life preservers from the swan boat in order to prevent himself from drowning.
Unfortunately, the only thing he had been wearing with the life jacket was a pair of shorts and, given the low temperatures that can be reached at four o'clock in the morning (plus the fact that Thurston was soaked through from spending time in a fountain), the man's body temperature had dropped to a dangerously low level.
After he was rescued by the fire department, he was taken to the hospital for treatment.
At present, it's not entirely clear how the 36-year-old managed to get one of the swan boats out of the fenced-off area where they are kept, especially as the doors are locked at night. Police are currently investigating the matter, but there has been no confirmation as to whether the rental boat company will be pressing charges against the man.
As funny as this story may seem, it does serve as a good cautionary tale to anyone who's considering gallivanting about while high on drugs: however non-judgmental the swans may seem, their acceptance won't help you when the police show up and ask why you're half-naked in a novelty-shaped boat. In other words,
don't do drugs.
