"A series of seemingly small actions that indicate a person is emotionally or physically focused on someone outside their relationship."
"You might be engaging in micro-cheating if you secretly connect with another guy/girl on social media; if you share private jokes; if you downplay the seriousness of your relationship to another guy/girl; or if you enter their name under a code in your phone."
"These are all signs that you are conducting a 'covert flirtation' and keeping it from your partner. If you feel you have something to hide, ask yourself why."
"If your partner is having private conversations or online chats that he/she quickly shuts down when you enter the room; if they are reaching out to an ex to mark an anniversary or other significant shared, intimate event; perhaps they are offering compliments to other guys/girls that they don't say to you; or maybe they meet up with someone of the opposite sex under the guise of a business meeting, when you discover no business was actually done... these are all signs to look out for."
"Be specific about the behaviours that you have observed, explain how they made you feel and ask for what you want.
"For example, 'When you spent an hour on the phone
your ex during our date-night dinner I felt left-out and pretty useless. I'd prefer it if you focused on me during our special nights together' or 'When you add all the heart emojis in her/his post comments it makes me feel like she/he is your partner, rather than me. Next time, it would be great if you could reserve the online love for me.'"
"Allowing micro-cheating to continue can set up a relationship pattern that undermines you and enables your partner to have their cake and eat it too"
"By allowing this, you are effectively saying 'It's ok to flirt with him/her, I'm happy to take second place and I don't really matter.'"
"Over time, this can erode your self-esteem and set you up to be the 'victim' in your relationship."