Meghan Markle has opened up about her struggles with suicide ideation and depression while serving as a member of the Royal Family in her new interview alongside husband Prince Harry.
According to NBC News, the 39-year-old former Suits actress spoke to Oprah Winfrey about the pressure she felt while living as a member of British royalty, and the lack of support she experienced before herself and Prince Harry made the controversial and public decision to retire from their duties as senior Royals.
Markle went on to state that she had been the victim of a "character assassination", and that this led to her mental health deteriorating to the point where she considered self-harming or suicide.
Meghan stated that she felt so adrift and isolated during her time in Buckingham Palace that she sat in the dark and wept after the lights went down at a public event, while Harry held her hand to help her endure it.
Per The Daily Telegraph, Markle stated:
"We had to go to this event after I told Harry I didn't want to be alive anymore. In the pictures, I see how tightly his knuckles are gripped around mine. We are smiling, doing our job. In the Royal Box, when the lights went off, I was just weeping.
"I was really ashamed to have to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry especially, but I knew that if I didn't say that I would do it. I just didn't want to be alive anymore."
And when Winfrey asked if she thought of harming herself or having suicidal thoughts, Meghan said: "Yes. This was very, very clear, ... and very scary."
Markle asked if it would be possible for her to seek medical help for her mental health, but was told by an official that she couldn't, "because it wouldn't be good for the institution."
She also spoke about how confined she felt after losing a lot of her personal freedoms as the Duchess of Sussex, stating: "When I joined the family that was the last time I saw my driver's license, my keys.
"All that gets handed over. It's not like you can get an Uber to come to the palace."
When asked by 67-year-old interviewer Oprah how this made Harry feel, the Prince replied that he felt "ashamed" of admitting his wife's struggles to the rest of his family.
Harry stated: "I guess I was ashamed of admitting it to them. I don’t know whether they’ve had the same feelings or thoughts. It is a very trapping environment they are stuck in.
"The family [has] a mentality of: 'This is how it is, you can’t change it, we’ve all been through it.' But what was different here was the race element. That triggered the conversations with my family and palace staff where I said: 'This is not going to end well.'"
Per NBC, Harry added: "I took matters into my own hands. I [needed] to do this for my family. This is not a surprise to anybody. It's really sad that it's got to this point. I got to do something for my own mental health, for my wife's and for Archie's, as well."
If you or anyone else you know is struggling with the issues raised in this article then please don't hesitate to contact The Samaritans on 116 123 or the Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1800 273 8255.