Let's get one thing straight.
Chairs are super useful, and that's not really in doubt, I don't think. But while they can be comfy, ergonomic, high or simply wooden, one thing you can't really say about a chair is that it's multi-purpose. They're good for sitting, maybe standing if you don't own a stepladder, and taming lions, but surely not much more, right?
Well, thanks to this bizarre arrest report from New Orleans police, we may have discovered a brand new way to use chairs that we don't really see outside the WWE. Due to all those legs and rigid parts, chairs don't really make for very versatile weapons, but one man clearly has a lot more willpower than the rest of us, because he used one to try and rob a Burger King.
The New Orleans Times-Picayune reports that a 35-year-old male "armed himself with a chair and went behind the counter" at a local Burger King. Steven Oliver reportedly threatened the employees at this particular branch of Burger King, raising his chair and demanding food, before making his escape with his burger and fries in hand after the employees complied with his demands.
He did not make it far: Oliver was reportedly captured by police, and was booked early Tuesday morning. He's expected to be charged with armed robbery, but no bond information as yet to speak of. This arrest was one of three to be told of by New Orleans police this week, with a second armed robbery and a stabbing also reported.
Of course, Oliver isn't the first man to attempt to rob a fast food joint. He's not even the first man to wield an unconventional weapon in such a place, either: who could forget the time that a man brought a snake into a Waffle House, and started a panic caught on camera that went pretty viral?
For the record, Gary Lewis, the man who wielded his snake LB in such an unorthodox manner, usually gets a much nicer reception when he takes his scaly friend places. "Most of the people think it’s kinda crazy for a guy to be having a live snake around his neck, [sic]" Lewis explained.
"This was the worse I have seen right here,” said Lewis. “Normally when I walk in a public place or something, you might have one or two people like, oh he got a snake, but never had any kinda reaction like this. Most of the people be like can I rub him, do he bite, do he have teeth? [sic]"
Well, there we have it. We all know that necessity is the mother of invention, so maybe it's no surprise that when faced with the looming shadow of hunger, we resort to bizarre methods to relieve ourselves of the pangs. Or something. Look, let's just use chairs for sitting from now on, okay?
