Though it might not feel it at the time, there's a lot riding on a two-year-old's birthday party. Of course, having your newborn complete their first year is a great and momentous occasion for mother and father, but chances are, your birthday boy or birthday girl won't remember a second of the expensive cake, the cheesy music or (thankfully) the terrifying clown you decided to employ.
When birthday number two rolls around, though, you know that things are about to get serious. Your little one has transformed into a toddler; walking, talking, picking things up and capable of recalling the trauma of a terrible second birthday. The pressure's on, folks.
I don't know how many of you reading this have a two-year-old's birthday coming up, but whatever you decide to do to celebrate that little one's special day, please - please - do not get them this cake. The cake I'm about to complain about can be found on Reddit in the CrappyDesign subreddit, and in just a few seconds, you'll understand why it's there.
Although it's not exactly the best-designed cake for a two-year-old (where's the personality? The bright colours, the pictures?) a first glance at the birthday cake in question doesn't give too many indications that it belongs in the CrappyDesign forum. Not too big a fan of the fondant, personally, but a perfectly acceptable cake for a two-year-old.
Posted with the caption "a friend’s two-year old’s birthday cake" by the Reddit user randyfloyd37, there's seemingly very little to excited about. But here's the thing: I'm a big fan of the idea that reality is all about perception, and for this cake you're not necessarily looking at it at the right angle. Let's take a look from the other side, shall we?
Oh. Oh dear. Oh God. That's really not good. Depending on how well your two-year-old is developing, they're probably walking and talking and all that, but thank goodness this little toddler hasn't yet been taught to read. Or, if they have been taught to read, they haven't been taught that word.
I hope.
Reddit understandably had a field day with this inadvertently X-rated cake. "Ever dealt with a two year old? Then you’ll know how accurate this can be..." said one user, while on Facebook, Jessica said: "Oh my God, where can I get this topper? My son turns two next month and this is perfect."
To be honest, I'm kind of impressed at the typography required to turn a three-letter word into a four-letter word of both the connotations. Did the baker know about this? Was it made this way on purpose? Either way, I think it's probably for the best if this cake was brought to birthday parties and put right up against the wall.
It's pretty much the only way not to ruin your two-year-old's birthday forever, I think.
