You know, most relationship advice I read these days seems to be obsessed with forcing couples off the couch and into the great unknown, and I can't for the life of me think why. Ask any agony aunt to diagnose the issues inherent in your relationship, and odds are that she'll recommend you unglue your backsides from the sofa, switch off the TV and go outside. You need to grab it with both hands and wring the fun out of it like water from a wet towel. Unless you're both skydiving, rock-climbing and kayaking together, it seems the experts will tell you that your relationship goals are sorely lacking.
What a load of nonsense. This is just my personal opinion of course, and I'm no kind of Casanova, but some of the best times I've ever had in relationships have been when we're both curled up and snug in a comfy chair, swaddled in blankets, binging some boxset together and eating fast food. So what if it's not glamorous or adventurous, it's what we like to do, so why shouldn't we? And that's before even getting into the whole "Netflix and chill" issue. I've been advocating the couch potato and TV lifestyle to other couples for years, and I've always been shot down in the past. But now it seems that science has actually proven me right after all, and empirically determined that there are relationship benefits for couples who enjoy binge-watching TV together.
A study entitled "Let’s stay home and watch TV: The benefits of shared media use for close relationships", which was recently published in the Journal of Personal and Social Relationships, claims that spending time watching TV with your nearest and dearest could actually prove profoundly beneficial to your relationship. Dr. Sarah Gomillion of the University of Aberdeen, in collaboration with colleagues Kerri Kawakami and Shira Gabriel, surveyed 259 participants who were in relationships that had lasted 16 months on average. The college student couples were asked to detail their mutual friends and the social groups they share, what media they enjoyed consuming together, and their overall satisfaction and commitment to their relationship.
The Guinea pigs who boasted better-quality relationships also reported that they had more friends in common, and that they enjoyed more shared media together. However, these benefits were boosted even further when those same couples didn't have as many friends in common. This means that, for those pairs, watching TV together was a useful bonding mechanism when couples didn’t share friends or social groups. Basically, when you lack people in common, you can compensate with media that you mutually enjoy, and binge watching TV is the most efficient method of achieving this.
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A second study examined another 131 college students who were in relationships, and focused on their shared friendships. Approximately half of the 131 participants were asked to discuss "Friends they share with their partners, including the activities they engaged in with mutual friends and friends of their partner with whom they had grown close.” The rest focused on the friends that they and their partner didn't share, and then both groups were surveyed about their motivations to share TV viewing in conjunction with their relationship satisfaction. For the participants who felt like they shared fewer social connections (in contrast to those who boasted many), sharing media benefited the relationship more and brought them closer together.
The paper's abstract notes: "Sharing a social identity is a key component of interdependence in romantic relationships. In particular, sharing a social network of friends and family members with a romantic partner enhances relationship quality, but maintaining an integrated social network is not always possible. When people lack a shared circle of friends with their partners, sharing media like TV shows, books, and movies with partners may compensate for this deficit and restore closeness ... Our findings showed that when people lack shared friends with their romantic partners, sharing media predicts greater relationship quality and people become motivated to share media with their partners. These studies show that shared media can enhance interdependence and allow people to compensate for lacking a shared social network in the real-world."
However, before you invest in a subscription for another 10 or so streaming services, bear in mind that the above study, while focusing on television, only really proves that sharing enjoyment of something with your partner can bring you closer together when you don't have friends in common. But you could be enjoying any activity together: metal detecting, mini golf, juggling or historical reenactment - your hobbies could be as random as can be. But if you both enjoy them, that will make you happier and more communicative. So if someone is nagging you to go for a jog or an expensive dinner date, you can take comfort in the fact that your TV viewing is actually justified. Happy watching!
