These are the 11 most ridiculous jeans ever designed

If your enthusiasm for "new year new me" is starting to wane and you're starting to weaken at the thought of a double bacon cheeseburger and other things that risk compromising your vow to be better this year, then listen up. Maybe all you need to keep you going is a bit of a wardrobe revolution, something that'll remind you and others that you've got a fresh approach to life this year. Maybe you need... a new pair statement jeans. Or maybe not, because these jeans I'm about to show you are just – I'm sorry – atrocious. Whoever thought to pencil these designs and then slap the paper down in front of the head-designer and declare, "here, I present you the hottest new trend of the year", was bold I admit, but also so far from right. From crotchless jeans to ones with a zipper that runs down to your butt crack, I present to you the 11 most ridiculous jeans that have ever existed.

1. Crotchless jeans

These crotchless jeans expose the person's knickers and the "parts" most people use clothes to cover. They've had everyone asking, "u ok hun?".

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2. These very anatomically incorrect jeans

They make me feel so uncomfortable.

[caption id="attachment_12344354" align="aligncenter" width="454"] Credit: Natasha Zinko[/caption]

3. However the heck you describe these

Garter jeans? Chaps? Who the hell knows, but they're wrong on so many levels.

[caption id="attachment_12344349" align="aligncenter" width="715"] Credit: Y Project[/caption]

4. Jeans with zippers along the buttcrack

Here you've got a zipper that runs all the way down the butt crack so you can let some fresh air in or – err – let some out. Or whatever the hell you're supposed to do with them. Luckily for no-one, the jeans come in a black wash as well as a shorts variation.

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5. Diaper jeans

Yep, jeans that have "detachable shorts" that really just look like an adult diaper made of denim. It loses points for having pockets that are probably fake too.

[caption id="attachment_12344382" align="aligncenter" width="341"] Credit: Opening Ceremony[/caption] [caption id="attachment_12344383" align="aligncenter" width="278"] Credit: Opening Ceremony[/caption]

6. Jeans with a hideous asymmetrical skirt sewn over the top

Because we're still living in 1998. Thanks, but no-one really asked for these.

[caption id="attachment_12344358" align="aligncenter" width="425"] Credit: ASOS[/caption]

7. Open back jeans

Just... why?

[caption id="attachment_12344357" align="aligncenter" width="430"] Credit: ASOS[/caption]

8. Jeans with these parts missing

Fake pockets are bad enough but this? I don't even know what to say.

Credit: Topshop

9. Jeans that are also boots

As flaunted by Rihanna on her way to the club. Yes, she looks as fine as always, but these boot-jean things have me wondering how it sits together and how does one do the bathroom things?

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10. These disgustingly muddy jeans

Come on, anyone could've rolled around in a pig's pen to get this look themselves.

[caption id="attachment_12344353" align="aligncenter" width="625"] Credit: PRPS[/caption]

11. Windowpane jeans

For those of you who want the ripped knees look, but who also don't like their knees getting wet when it rains.

[caption id="attachment_12344350" align="aligncenter" width="587"] Credit: ASOS[/caption]

If you really do feel the need to amp up your "renewed self" while the year is still young, I implore you to look elsewhere. Find yourself a hobby, buy a pet, greet your colleagues in a different language every day – do anything but buy any of these horrid, horrid jeans.