Think again before using your hotel kettle

People usually learn about sex from pretty negligent sources. Most high school sex-ed teachers are awkward and dodge the dirty details, and porn is largely an unrealistic parody of what sex actually is like for most regular people. So people usually have to figure out for themselves what they like best – and what others like best – when doing the deed. Actually doing it is the best way to learn about what works in the bedroom, and communication is just as important. You'll get the best idea of what your special person likes through actual, real-life conversations. But sometimes, people feel the need to talk about their sex lives on the internet, and so there is a wealth of information to mine there as well. Just recently, a woman on Reddit posed the question, "what do you wish most men could learn about sex, in order to give you greater satisfaction?", and the internet came through. Of course, while everyone's preferences and deepest desires between the sheets are different, there are some things many women agree on. Here are 10 things told by women about what they wish men would figure out about sex:

1. It's not all about the main course

"Never skimp on the foreplay. The build up is just as good as the finale."

2. Sex shouldn't be object-driven 

"I've asked this of a lot of women IRL. The top two answers seem to be: 1) Sex isn't all about the guys d*ck and 2) The goal isn't an orgasm."

3. Lessons in carpentry

"Please, for the love of god, don't rub our clits like you're trying to sand wood. More pressure doesn't mean it feels better. Make sure to get more sensation on the actual clit, and to move it, more so than just pushing on it."

4. Stop fretting

"D*ck size essentially doesn't matter."

5. Things don't have to be hard all the time

"News flash: you do not have to be hard the entire time for it to count as fun sex. Maybe you've been going down on me for a bit and your turgid friend isn't receiving direct attention so he starts to droop a bit. Maybe you had an intrusive thought about your mother and your body involuntarily shuts down for a second. Maybe your body just got tired of providing all the blood to sustain a perfect raging hard on and it needs a bit of recovery time. There are other things we can do besides ensuring the constant stiffness of your penis. This is not the only point of sex."

6. Take protection seriously

"I don't want to have sex without a condom... being able to relax about STD's and STI's means I can enjoy sex."

7. Manners, please

"So many dudes have used degrading/insulting language without checking in with me first, because they heard it in porn and thought it was sexy. 'Yeah you like that you little sl*t/b*tch/wh*re?' well not anymore my dude. Just be nice to me unless I tell you otherwise!"

8. Communicate while you consummate

"It's okay to ask if you're not sure. Any woman worth having sex with isn't going to kick you out for occasionally asking 'Is this okay?' or 'Does this feel good?' Obviously don't check in like that every single time you move your hands/lips/d*ck, but if you start doing something and her reaction seems difficult to read or you feel a bit anxious about whether she's enjoying it or not, then just ask."

9. Don't rush it

"Give me some time to warm up and enjoy myself before it's all d*ck all the time. Likewise, don't go diving into panties super fast, either. The clothes will come off when I'm comfortable or you get me so horny I must strip."

10. This is most important of all

"There's no 'one-size-fits-all' (haha) thing all women like. Maybe foreplay, but that's so general. I think listening to what women like and encouraging them to give feedback on things that feel good is the best advice for men who want to sexually please women."

Maybe you agree, maybe you disagree. Are there other things you wish men knew about how to sexually satisfy you? Probably. But really, that's one for you to talk about with your partner face-to-face.