1. No mercy from this soggy moggy
2. Child of doom and belly rubs
3. I am the founding fluffball, bearer of roundness
4. The flames of hell are nothing compared to an unwanted shower
5. Cold winds, cruel kitty
6. I am the one that summons neck scratches
7. We exit the ritual catflap
8. I am the one summoning the mighty food god
9. My burial place will be the litter tray
10. Under the bed where my owner can't reach me
11. Like every mouse I couldn't catch
12. Chasing our tails and licking our paws
13. The force of evil rises... then sleeps... then rises again
14. We scratch, hiss, purr
15. Hail the prince of naps
16. But I don't come home till someone shakes the food bag
17. All was calm and peaceful, then I had catnip
18. But also that one patch of sun to sleep in
19. No crying, just a lot of meowing at 3am
20. Gaze into my bulging eyes