Times change, people move on, relationships end. Though that might sound like a trio of rather depressing statements, their truth is undeniable. In a world of transience and alteration, at one moment recognisable, the next a dizzying collocation of technological and societal advancements that leave the uninitiated blinking in bewilderment, there is scant consideration left for longevity. Of course, with the manner in which social media has come to dominate our culture, it is all too easy to stay abreast of what our former flames are up to, and while doing so is often an inadvisable pursuit, perhaps, very occasionally, there is an argument to be made for doing so. We're not talking, plainly, of feverish perusal, stalker-esque by candlelight, which is creepy and more than a little odd. Unless you have been lucky enough to remain friends with a former beau, though, there is always that faint sense of anxiety that they might crop up at any moment, unexpected and out of the blue. For one man, the chances of this happening probably seemed particularly slim. "I have been an expat since graduating and have been moving a lot" the anonymous individual told Ask A Manager, before going on to explain that, more than 10 years ago, he had been guilty of ghosting a girl named Sylvia, after a relatively long relationship; "Sylvia wanted to settle down but I was not ready to commit so young. We clearly had different expectations from the relationship. Well, I ghosted her. Over the Christmas break, while she was visiting her family, I simply moved out and left the country. I took advantage of the fact that I accepted a job in other country and did not tell her about it. I simply wanted to avoid being untangled in a break-up drama. Sylvia was rather emotional and became obsessed with the relationship, tracking me down, even causing various scenes with my parents and friends." Ten years on, and the unnamed man is a teacher at an international school. Unfortunately for him, though, that same school is getting a new Director who just so happens to be - drum roll here - Sylvia! As he explains; "We are getting a new director. I read the bio of the new boss and Googled her and was shocked to discover it is Sylvia. "We have not been in touch and do not have any mutual friends anymore. I am not a big fan of social media and had no idea what she had been up to since the unpleasant situation a long time ago." Well, anonymous man, I have a feeling you are about to find out. "I am happy and settled here so do not want to move. To make the situation worse, the expat community here is very small and tightly knit so teachers also socialise a lot. "I understand that this would not have happened if I did not ghost her back then, but I cannot do anything about it now." Personally I'm not sure there's any coming back from an intercontinental ghosting, even 10 years on from the initial wounds being inflicted. Ghosters never prosper. Is that a saying?

As anyone that's ever been in a relationship will know, there are two styles of break-up in this world. The first, is the one that's messy and traumatic - there's shouting, screaming, probably a bit of swearing, and a whole lot of bad blood afterwards, no matter how close you once were.

Then, there's the "mature" break-up - the one where you both agree to go your separate ways, promise to be there for each other and stay best friends forever. Y'know, the one that Gwyneth Paltrow would probably call "conscious uncoupling" but that Ross and Rachel made look awkward as hell.

But funnily enough, it's not that always that easy to let go. After all, those lovey-dovey feelings don't just disappear overnight and old habits die hard, as they say. And while we might admire those people that can stay friends with their exes once they are no longer romantically involved, as these people show, it's not always the best of ideas.

1. Ain't nobody got time for that

2. It causes drama with new-bae too

3. Well that's... awkward

4. Old habits can be hard to break

5. Especially if you don't know where to draw the line

6. And there's always one person that's more into it

7. Even if it can be confusing for both of you

8. And it's easy to give them the wrong idea...

9. But worst of all, they are going to find someone new

10. Because even if you think you're over them, you're probably not

11. That's not to say it's impossible to get along, of course

12. Especially if you're waaaay past romance

13. But sometimes, it's best just to let go

At the end of the day, every relationship is different. If you can genuinely, hand on heart, say that you're totally cool being friends with your ex then go ahead, why not? But if you're still pining over them, think they might be pining over you, or even just find yourself thinking about seeing them naked once in a while, then it might be better just to cut the apron strings and start afresh.

Whether this means deleting them from your social media, wiping their number from your phone or avoiding the party you know they're going to be at, it's up to you. True, it might be painful now, but who knows what incredible, magical, Disney fairytale relationships you could be missing out on just because you're focusing too much attention on something that didn't work out. Now that's exciting!

[caption id="attachment_324" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit[/caption] It's often said that true friends are worth their weight in gold, and the old saying couldn't be truer. Take the ladies above, they've known each other fifty years! When you're down on your luck, a good group of friends can help you see the light in even the darkest of situations. And when things are going swimmingly, they're there to enjoy the ride with you too! But there's no doubt that the true test of a friend is how they react in bad situations as opposed to the good. So, to celebrate all things friendship, we've compiled a list of incredible then and now friend pictures, proving that water can be just as thick as blood. After seeing these, you won't be able to help but call up your bestie and praise them for existing! [post_page_title]Friends That Camp Together Stay Together[/post_page_title] Childhood friendships are some of the most fun of our lives. With no responsibilities, we enjoyed the simpler things in life - from sleepovers to fishing for tadpoles in our local pond! And, if you're lucky, this will create a bond that lasts a lifetime. [caption id="attachment_274" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Imgur / @Jkmiller20148[/caption] These two dudes are pictured above as kids camping 59 years ago (pops for the comic books in their tent) and they're pictured below as grownups, still as tight as ever, having remained besties for a whopping half a century. You rock, guys! [post_page_title]These Two Have Always Followed The Same Path[/post_page_title] It's no secret that people can be influenced by their friends. As my mom puts it, "Show me who your company is, and I'll tell you who you are." Thankfully, most of the time, this has positive connotations and friends can chase the same dreams together. [caption id="attachment_275" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Tammy Murray[/caption] Case in point, these two, who went from beating up bad guys on video games, to quite literally beating up bad guys in real life in the military. Friends for 15 years - and I'm sure, for life! [post_page_title]Look At How Far We've Come![/post_page_title] For many people, they meet their closest friends in education. This happened for me a little later down the line. I met my best friend on the first day of my graduate degree four years ago and we've been inseparable since then. [caption id="attachment_276" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Imgur[/caption] For this lucky trio, however, the bond that they established way back in preschool saw them right through to their high school graduation. Hopefully, this is a friendship which lasts a lifetime. [post_page_title]Some Things, However, Do Change With Time[/post_page_title] Kids love playing in the bath together, and when the weather permits, in paddling pools. When you're young, it's so much easier to enjoy the simple things in life because the word responsibility means nothing to you. [caption id="attachment_277" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit[/caption] Clearly, these two still appreciate the joy of sharing a bath together. The only thing that's really changed is their choice of beverage... And amount of body hair. [post_page_title]Father and daughter recreate some graduation magic[/post_page_title] Graduation is not just a special day for the students, but their parents as well. In the picture below, the now 19-year-old Tori Roach can be seen as both a baby being held by her graduating father, Dennis, and also as a teenager graduating in her father's arms. [caption id="attachment_460" align="alignnone" width="1420"] Credit: Twitter / Tori Roach[/caption] Tori's adorable tweet received so much love online - quickly garnering over 175,000 likes and 67,000 retweets, with many branding it the 'sweetest' thing they've ever seen! What's even more incredible is that they both also graduated from the same school! [post_page_title]Now That's What I Call #FriendshipGroupGoals [/post_page_title] The more friends there are in a group, sadly, the higher the odds are of it breaking up over time. We simply don't have the same interests as we did as kids when we're grownups, which is why it's so special when groups stay together. [caption id="attachment_278" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit / @downwarddawg[/caption] Check out these happy guys! They've all stayed togehter (and with the same choices of beverages too). They are pictured above at the ages of 10, 17 and 29 years old. [post_page_title]Friends For Seven Decades[/post_page_title] Sometimes, when people hit it off as kids, it really is a case of "till death do us part" on a friendship level. Sure, the world and technology has changed irrevocably over the past 70 years, but these two's bond hasn't waned. [caption id="attachment_280" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Janet Valenti[/caption] Hopefully, their grandchildren will remain just as close throughout their lives too. One thing's for sure, these ladies will have some epic friend stories from over the years - good and bad! [post_page_title]The Friends Who Always Visit The Same Cabin[/post_page_title] Traditions often help to keep friendships alive over the years, whether it's simply watching the same movie every Christmas together, or, as is the case for this group of guys, vacationing at the same cabin at Copco Lake in California. [caption id="attachment_281" align="aligncenter" width="500"] Credit: Reddit / @3yronF1ve[/caption] These three pictures were each taken five years apart between 1982 and 2012. Clearly, these dudes aren't so keen on going shirtless now that they're a little older! [post_page_title]From First Grade To Graduation[/post_page_title] Even if you don't keep in touch with your childhood friends, chances are that they'll always have a special place in your heart. And thanks to social media, it's easier than ever to see what they're up to! [caption id="attachment_282" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Imgur / @irrelevantporpoise[/caption] But I've no doubt that these four, who've been friends since first grade, won't have to rely on Facebook to keep their bond strong. Props for pulling the same poses and facial expressions in both pictures! [post_page_title]The Gang Is Still Together[/post_page_title] Outside of school, most of us spend our childhoods playing with the other kids on our street. That's why it was so devastating whenever someone moved away. When you're six, you can't easily take the bus to visit them! [caption id="attachment_283" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Chris Porsz[/caption] Luckily, despite growing up together, the old crew from Gladstone Street are still friends. Although, I'd be willing to bet that few - if any - of them still there, or if that's even the same Gladstone Street as in the picture above. [post_page_title]The Annoying Friend You Can't Help But Love[/post_page_title] Friends can get on our nerves at times, but we know that our lives would be a lot less interesting without them. In fact, if we haven't been annoyed by *that* friend in a few days, we often start to wonder if something is wrong! [caption id="attachment_284" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit / @phathiker[/caption] Clearly, these two have had this kind of a relationship for a long time. It just goes to show that playing together might keep some friendships strong, so too can annoying each other! (Although I think it's obvious that he's faking his annoyance!) [post_page_title]Smiling Through The Years[/post_page_title] There are some problems which we simply can't go to our families with - relationships are a good example. Sometimes what they think is best for us couldn't be further from what we actually need, which is when our friends some into their own. [caption id="attachment_285" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Laura Siegel[/caption] This touching picture was captioned: "She's my surrogate sister. We update each other on our families and our lives whenever we speak. We laugh together and we cry together, and we've been friends for 76 years." [post_page_title]Still Playing In The Mud[/post_page_title] Kids, especially boys, love getting dirty. It's why so many detergent ads are targetted towards Moms. Companies know that they have to contend with a lot of tough stains! [caption id="attachment_286" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit / @MisterOn[/caption] This brilliant recreation of these guy's childhood picture was captioned: "20+ years later we are still a bunch of dirty boys." Props to them to recreating the way the dirt looked in the first picture! [post_page_title]Troubled Times Really Do Bring People Together[/post_page_title] It's no secret that World War Two tore many people apart, but it also brought others together in difficult circumstances and created bonds that have lasted a lifetime. [caption id="attachment_287" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Twitter / @Sk_Rgt_Friends[/caption] It's great to see that this group are still as tight as ever despite everything they've gone through. They might not be as tall as they once well, but I think you'll agree that they nailed this recreation. [post_page_title]They Never Lost Each Other[/post_page_title] One of the hardest realizations of life is knowing that you will lose people you love. This is even harder when you lose someone unexpectedly and have to find closure on your own terms. In times like these, friends are invaluable. [caption id="attachment_302" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Gwen Chasan[/caption] "Best friends for over 60 years," this picture was captioned. "We gained (and lost) husbands, children and grandchildren. We are ever present in each other's hearts and lives." [post_page_title]Tech Has Grown With Their Friendship[/post_page_title] Unless you're very young, technology will have changed a lot throughout your life, and it's a great bonding experience reminiscing about that. Like discussing the social media platforms that predated Facebook! [caption id="attachment_303" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit / @badseedify[/caption] My money's on these friends playing Pokémon in the first picture and it's updated counterpart Pokémon Go in the second. After all these years, they still want to catch them all! [post_page_title]Food Bonds People A Lot[/post_page_title] A friend of mine once said, "Even a bad pizza is a good pizza". And it's so true! Clearly, their love of food has kept these guys together. I love how they have grown but their portion sizes haven't! [caption id="attachment_304" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit / @LaserBeamPewPew[/caption] These pictures were captioned: "Best buds fueling up before hitting the town." Additional props to these guys for wearing matching outfits in both pictures - and making sure said outfits are similar. [post_page_title]Thumbs Up[/post_page_title] When you've got a good bestie by your side, life really is a thumbs up. This is especially the case if you're lucky enough to grow up together and make memories you both know can't be replaced. [caption id="attachment_305" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Imgur / @degruct[/caption] These pictures were captioned: "He white but he still ma n*gga. My best friend for 18 years." Here's to the next 18 guys! [post_page_title]These Guys Glowed Up Together[/post_page_title] Going through the education system is a journey and that's putting it mildly. For many people, it can span as many as two decades as they go from learning how to read and write to gaining college degrees. [caption id="attachment_306" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit / @Scottydew93[/caption] "Lucky to have the same best friend since our first day of kindergarten to our first day of living together for our last year of college," these pictures were captioned. Talk about a glow up! [post_page_title]Their Height Difference Has Grown[/post_page_title] One of the fun things about being a kid is having no idea what you'll look like after puberty has hit. Maybe you'll be twice as tall, or not much bigger than you were before. These two are an example! [caption id="attachment_307" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit / @Sfugius[/caption] These then and now pictures were captioned: "A picture of my buddy and I, on my 10th and 22nd birthdays." Another pair who nailed pulling the same facial expressions twice. [post_page_title]Still As Happy As Ever[/post_page_title] The first picture here looks like it's from a high school yearbook. Just check out those grins! And those 70s style glasses. Luckily, these four ladies are just as happy and radiant decades on. [caption id="attachment_308" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit / @MuchoGrande[/caption] These before and after pictures were captioned: "Four friends, then and now, 38 years apart (1978 - 2016)." I bet these ladies have some excellent stories from back in the day! [post_page_title]Distance Doesn't Get In The Way Of True Friendship[/post_page_title] If you're really lucky, your best friend will be like an extra sibling - without any additional baggage. And if you're even luckier, distance won't stop you from being close as was the case for these two ladies! [caption id="attachment_309" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Judy Bjornsen[/caption] "Best friends for over 50 years," this picture was captioned. "We haven't lived in the same city for 40 years, But we talk every week and see each other several times a year. Neither one of us has sisters, but she is more than a sister to me." [post_page_title]The Balloon Boys Then And Now[/post_page_title] Time changes a lot. Our foreheads develop lines, our hangovers last longer, and chances are we don't have a fraction of the energy we possessed as kids. But friendships sometimes never falter. [caption id="attachment_310" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit / @aaronisarun[/caption] These adorable before and after pictures were captioned: "Still friends at 40". Clearly, while these guys enthusiasm for each other hasn't waned, they don't look quite as keen on balloons in the second picture! [post_page_title]BBFs Forever[/post_page_title] Reading through this list, I'm honestly getting more and more jealous of all these childhood BBFs. I'm only in touch with people I've known this long on social media - seperated like many by time and distance. [caption id="attachment_311" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit / @SuccessIsNoAccident[/caption] "Almost 20 years down the road, then & now," these pictures were captioned. I love how the guy on the far right looks cheekier as an adult than he did as a child! [post_page_title]A Seriously Big Friend Group[/post_page_title] As we've seen on this list, some friend groups are bigger than others, but none so far have been quite as big as this one, which, if you count, is ten people strong! [caption id="attachment_312" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit[/caption] This picture of these fabulous ten friends was captioned: "Ten years later, still the best of friends." It's nice to see that the playpark still exists too, even if the sandpit has shrunk quite a bit! [post_page_title]When Dress Up Becomes Reality[/post_page_title] When you're a kid, there are few things more fun than fantasizing about what your grownup life will be like, and for many people, this involves imagining their wedding day. That's why these then and now pictures are so special! [caption id="attachment_313" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Source Unknown[/caption] "My best friend and I in 1998, before a costume party, and in 2016 at my wedding," this picture was captioned. See! Childhood dreams really do come true! [post_page_title]True Friends Are Worth Being Grateful For[/post_page_title] While there's a place in the world for counselors, sometimes it's the people who know you best who can give you the exact advice you need to hear - and better still if there's more than one of them! [caption id="attachment_314" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Mary Scalercio[/caption] This picture was captioned: "Best friends for 50 years. We have been there as a support system as hard decisions needed advice: sickness, infidelity, life-changing situations, aging parents, happy and sad times. We are so grateful to have one another to go through this wonderful life we have." [post_page_title]Junk Food Bonds Last For Life[/post_page_title] Clearly, there's more than one group of friends out there who have been kept together by their love of junk food. It's one of the simpler pleasures in life and it's best enjoyed with friends. [caption id="attachment_315" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit / @Whoops_Shot_Marvin[/caption] However, as this after picture demonstrates, perhaps these guys have gotten a little simpler in their old age and opted for potato chips instead of pizza. Gotta watch that waistline! [post_page_title]Friends Who Look Like Sisters[/post_page_title] Sometimes, when you're really close to someone, you start to subconsciously adopt their mannerisms and ways of doing things. Like these two ladies, who appear to have always had similar styles and haircuts! [caption id="attachment_316" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Source Unknown[/caption] These before and after pictures were captioned: "My friend and I in 1990 and in 2017." Admittedly, if they keep these recreations up, if they live long enough, they'll only be able to pull this pose for so long! [post_page_title]What A Difference Half A Century Makes![/post_page_title] Usually, houses and buildings change a lot over time, but sometimes that's not the case. Although this building hasn't changed and neither has these friendships, the size of these people certainly has! [caption id="attachment_317" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Source Unknown[/caption] These heartwarming before and after pictures were captioned: "Goulet siblings (and bffs) 1966 vs. 2014." I love how the woman holding the "baby" still has the same haircut all those years later. [post_page_title]Friends For Life[/post_page_title] Another pair of friends who stayed together throughout the education system were these two. Judging by the quality of the pictures, I'd say they're still friends to this day - so much so that they scanned them digitally! [caption id="attachment_318" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit[/caption] This picture was captioned: "My friend and I have been best friends our entire lives. then and now: preschool graduation and our high school graduation." [post_page_title]The Boys Are Back In Town[/post_page_title] Their friendship has stayed the same and as strong as ever over the decades. The same, however, can't be said for their hairlines... [caption id="attachment_319" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Source Unkown[/caption] These before and after pictures were captioned: "My friends Sam, Shawn and myself (ron), friends for 4 decades." [post_page_title]Arms Around Each Other For Life[/post_page_title] With a strong best friend by your side, even when things go wrong, like unexpectedly losing their job, you know that someone has your back. That's why good friends really are worth their weight in gold. [caption id="attachment_320" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Reddit[/caption] These before and after pictures were captioned: "Then and now: my best friend in the whole world." I love how these ladies smiles have gotten even bigger over time! [post_page_title]Besties Don't Have To Be Similar[/post_page_title] While some people do have a lot in common with their best friends, that's not necessarily always the case. Sometimes you couldn't be more different, but despite this, click like no one else! [caption id="attachment_321" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Janna Wong Healy[/caption] This picture was captioned: "Best friends for 50 years. We come from different backgrounds, different professions and have very different personalities. But, through it all, we have remained besties." [post_page_title]You Can't Have Too Many Friends[/post_page_title] It's often said that you can't have too many friends, and as much as it's a cliché, it's true. We need as many supportive people as possible to get through the journey that is life. [caption id="attachment_322" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Imgur / @woopdawoop[/caption] This picture was captioned: "Apparently nothing has changed from 8th grade to senior year of college." I hope that these dudes take a similar picture when one of them eventually gets hitched! [post_page_title]This Woman Can't Remember Life Without Her Bestie[/post_page_title] There are some life-changing events which forever change how we see ourselves and the world. My Mum has always said that my dad is her best friend and added that her life never really started until she met him. [caption id="attachment_323" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Credit: Bonnie Adamick[/caption] This is a sentiment shared by the woman above, one of Joanne and Bonnie. They've been best friends for sixty years, and as a result, Bonnie said that she has no idea what her life was like before she met Joanne. D'aw!

While we've all been through romantic breakups, a BFF split is something else entirely. When you break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, you have an entire roster of people to call over - and your bestie is at the forefront; feeding you tubs of Ben and Jerry's, topping up your glass of pinot noir, and mopping up the tears. Losing a best friend, on the other hand, can be even more of an isolating experience, as you no longer have that tried-and-true shoulder to cry on.

And it's surprisingly common. Nearly everyone has a story about calling it quits with someone that they thought would be there for the long-run - maid of honour, godmother duties and all. But regardless of whether it was to do with discovering that their friendship was toxic, or because of some irreconcilable personality clash, things do eventually get better. And if that reality feels too far away right now, here are six things that will get you through in the meantime.

1. You don't always need closure

Sure, it can be tempting to rehash every disagreement, and to figure out why exactly things didn't work out, but sometimes this can be more destructive than useful. If you're going to go for it anyway, make sure you're doing it when both parties are calm and level-headed. Discussing such matters when you're still upset and angry will only escalate the situation further.

2. Keep yourself occupied

 Keep yourself busy by having something to look forward to, just like you would do after a romantic breakup. Whether this is planning drinks with your extended friends circle, or finally booking tickets to the play that you've had your eye on for so long, your best bet for keeping your mind preoccupied can be found by stepping outside.

3. Put yourself out there

Obviously you don't need to find yourself a new bestie straight away, however, it's a good idea to play the field a little - in a friendship sense. Take up that work colleague's offer to have drinks, and reach out to acquaintances that you think you could have a connection with. And don't forget about all your other friends too - you could end up becoming closer to them than you think.

4. Be mindful of social media 

Just like you'd delete your ex's number and block them from your social media feeds, it can be helpful to take a break from your former bestie. It may be triggering to see pictures of them living it up with their other mates, or - shock horror - your mutual friends. It also stops you from stalking them incessantly, because let's face it, we just can't help ourselves.

5. Try to learn from it 

If you were partly responsible for the split, try to think about what you could learn for the future, and for all of the other friendships you'll have later down the line. Breakups are always a good time for self-reflection, and you'll ultimately thank yourself for getting to know yourself a bit better.

On the flip-side, it's also important to analyse what the other party did too, so you know what not to look for in the future.

6. Accept that this may be it 

While we sometimes recover from a friendship "breakup", in many instances it's better to just let go. Sure, you have wonderful memories together, but you can continue to cherish those times while also accepting that the relationship wasn't right for you. Chalk it up to gained experience, and allow yourself to begin the process of moving on.

Well, there you have it. While breaking up with your BFF can feel like a tremendous loss at first, it is something that you eventually get over. And think about it this way - there was trouble for a reason. 

I have a man problem. It isn’t an unrequited love (normal story) or a guy who just won’t quit (if only). No, this man problem comes in the shape of my best mate, flatmate and all-round, number one pal. You see, having been friends for eight years now, no one quite believes that we’re not secretly sweet on each other. Our parents ask when we’re getting married, and our friends have basically chosen their outfits. I even went on a date with his friend once, during which he asked me not once, not twice, but three times if we’d ever hooked up. The answer is no. But no matter how much we protest, no one believes us, and it’s ruining both of our dating lives. Don’t even get me started on how awkward potential partners look when we bring them home, on the rare occasion that either of us actually pulls. For years, Hollywood has peddled the “best mate to bedmate” plotline, pushing the idea that romance is an inevitable conclusion of a close male-female friendship. Unfortunately, some scientists are saying they might be right, even going so far as to say that platonic friendship is “impossible”. So can it really be that men and women can’t ever just be friends? [caption id="attachment_12345698" align="aligncenter" width="1200"] Credit: Pexels[/caption] A study carried out by researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire in the US, and published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, would certainly suggest so. They recruited 88 pairs of supposedly platonic, straight, opposite-sex, undergrad friends, then split them into separate rooms and asked them to answer questions about their physical and sexual attraction towards the other, on a scale of one to nine, with nine being the highest. As you can probably imagine, no one really wanted anyone to know what answers they had given, so the results were kept strictly private - probably for the best really. Nonetheless, the results did make for some interesting reading, with researchers noticing that the men in the study were far more likely that the women to report that they felt an attraction to their supposed “friend”, regardless of their own or their friend’s relationship status. Scientists proposed that that this was likely because “young males possess strong short-term mating desires that are activated in the context of the opposite sex”, compared to women, who are more likely to be subconsciously dominated by a “long term mating orientation”. In other words, the whole friends-with-benefits thing is (in general) less of a goer for women.  Hilariously, it seems that some of the lads were a little too hopeful about their chances: “Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt”. In other words, they pretty much assumed that the feeling was mutual. Awkward. Women, on the contrary, tended to underestimate their friend’s attraction to them.

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Not everyone agrees that attraction is inevitable, however: “Certainly men and women can have platonic friendships,” Dr Linda Sapadin, a psychologist and coach with a particular interest relationships told Four Nine. “When men and women lived in separate worlds, their primary attraction to each other was romantic. In today’s world, however, men and women live, work and play together. They are fellow students, colleagues, committee members, bridge buddies, tennis partners and more. This cultural shift has created a new norm in which people generally keep their sexual involvement and friendships separate.” There's also the question of whether the results from the study would still stand once the thrill of being a fresher had worn off and real life set in - after all, being 21 involves a lot more tequila and regrettable kisses that most of us would be prepared to stomach just a few years later. A follow-up study by the same team, involving individuals between their late 20s to early 50s, found that while the tendency for a single person to report a desire for a friend was the same, this did not apply to people in relationships. There was also a considerable increase in whether people considered being attracted to a friend a problem, rather than accepting it. It seems then, that as you grow up and settle down, your ability to blind yourself to the charms of that one friend increases.  [caption id="attachment_12345699" align="aligncenter" width="4368"] Credit: Pexels[/caption] At the end of the day though, it’s a debate that’s gone on since the beginning of time, and one that will almost certainly go on until the end. And with 83 per cent of married people describing their partners as their "best friend", it's easy to see how the association between friendship and sexual attraction can be made. But from first-hand experience, I’m inclined to believe that yes, men and women can just be friends: my flatmate will always be the skinny posh boy that I’ve watched drunkenly throw up one too many times, who has hooked up with most of my gal pals and who once told me he would “definitely” get with my sister. Yeah; a swing and a miss.