Every September, teachers across the country await the arrival of their new class registers with anticipation. It’s not necessarily that they care which students are in their classes, rather what they are called. The big question: who’s got the stupidest name this year? From the little bit tacky to the completely wacky, there is no shortage of creativity when it comes to names.But, in the interests of saving a child from a lifetime of ridicule, should parents be given less, not more freedom when it comes to what they choose to name their child? Or are the baby naming laws seen across much of Europe archaic and outdated?
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The United States has very liberal baby-naming laws, extending the First Amendment right to free speech to the naming of children, with only some states banning the use of obscenities. In New Jersey, one couple even legally named their children Adolf Hitler and JoyceLynn Aryan Nation, although they were later taken into the care of social services.
The UK is even more liberal - with no laws in place about what you can or cannot name your child. It seems British parents are not afraid of embracing strange baby names. Whilst the Office for National Statistics only releases the top 100 names each year for each gender, a poll by parenting network Baby Centre has revealed that Kiwi, Haiku, Rhino and Anakin - the real first name of Darth Vader - are just some examples of the more unusual names given to newborns in the UK in 2016, with each being chosen by at least one family.
So what happens when you take it to the other end of the spectrum and impose restrictions on baby-naming? I heard someone say that Denmark is the country that gets everything right and in many ways, it’s true. The Scandinavian home of hygge is a place where eating cake is actively encouraged and where work-life balance is prioritised. The Danish consistently come out on top of world happiness studies, with citizens reporting lower stress levels than other countries.But when it comes to naming their children, the Danes have some of the strictest laws in the world, with new parents only allowed to select their children’s monikers from a list of 7,000 choices. This database is regularly updated, but if you do want to name your child something outside of it, you’ll need to apply for permission from local authorities. In the past, "Pluto" and "Anus" have both been rejected. Iceland has an even smaller list of approved names than Denmark, with just 1,800 names available for each gender.
On the list or not, the names Danish parents bestow upon their children cannot be the same as a well-known brand, cartoon or similar character, must not be a surname and must follow the traditional Danish spelling. One of the most standout features however, is the fact that the first name must indicate the child's gender, a rule also present in Germany, which too maintains comparatively strict naming laws. In Denmark, for example, you literally cannot call a female child Storm because it is seen as a male name, despite it being associated with girls in other countries.Yet, it could be argued that this gender-specific requirement is increasingly out of touch with the “post-gender” attitudes that are now gaining prevalence across Western culture. Canada has just introduced a gender-neutral passport category, British retailer John Lewis recently announced that they are doing away with gender distinctions on children’s clothing and in the US there has been a sharp rise in the number of “post-gender” names such as Hayden and Charlie, with parents keen to provide their child with the option of fluidity later in life. Despite making special allowances for people that identify as transsexual, this requirement also seems out of sync with Denmark's own attitude to gender; in 2016, it became the first country in the world to declassify “being transgender” as a mental health issue, ahead even of the World Health Organisation.
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But even without restrictions like Denmark’s, how far is too far when it comes to strange baby names? As a Tegan, I've spent a lifetime excluded from named hairbands and personalised key rings (get your tiny violins out, please), but it could have been much worse. In April 2017, Russia passed laws preventing parents from using obscenities, abbreviations or numerals in their names, citing an example of a child who was named BOChrVF260602, which literally translates as “biological object of human species”, followed the first letters of the surnames of the parents and the child’s date of birth. The child in question, now a teenager, still has no official documents because the Russian state refuses to acknowledge his name. Whilst the Russian government isn’t exactly known for being laissez-faire at the best of times, it’s hard not to feel sorry for that kid on the first day of school - or for that matter, for the Starbucks barista taking his coffee order. Whatever your opinion as to the involvement the state should have in the baby naming process, it’s hard to deny that choosing your child’s name remains a huge responsibility, given the impact that a name can have on an individual’s sense of self-hood and on other people’s perception of them. A 2016 study by the Australian National University revealed that people with unusual names are less likely to be successful in job interviews, and few of us could truthfully admit we've not made a snap judgement of someone will be like, based only on their name. For now, though, the subject of strange baby names is one that will undoubtedly continue to entertain and teachers all across the world will, I am sure, continue to laugh at their students’ misfortune come the start of the new academic year. Just please, no more baby Hitlers.
A British couple triumphed in a struggle to name their newborn son a name deemed "forbidden" in the country.
However, this victory also means that their son will bear a rather unconventional name for his entire life.
Embarking on the journey of parenthood brings with it a flurry of responsibilities, from ensuring the baby's well-being to making crucial decisions, such as naming them. This particular UK-based couple, Dan and Mandy Sheldon, had a clear vision for their son's name, but faced strong opposition from the registrar.
As per their interview with The Sun, following the lifting of Covid-19 restrictions, the couple went to register their four-month-old son. However, they encountered disdain from the registrar. Dan recounted, "We were really excited to go and get him registered but the woman looked at us in utter disgust. She told us he would never be able to get a job, and that teachers wouldn’t want to teach him."
Check out what the parents had to say:
So, what was the controversial name they chose? The parents wished to name their son Lucifer, a name often associated with the devil. "I tried to explain that we are not religious people, and Lucifer in Greek means ‘light-bringer’ and ‘morning’ but she wouldn’t listen," Dan stated.
The registrar suggested an alternative approach - naming the child something different but calling him Lucifer at home. She noted that the name Lucifer is deemed illegal in New Zealand, for instance. The moniker, linked to the devil's angelic name before his fall from grace in Christian theology, is prohibited in many Christian-majority countries, including Germany and Switzerland.
As the UK's stance on this name was unclear, the couple was asked to leave while the matter was investigated. Dan expressed their surprise over the registrar's reaction, saying, "We were gobsmacked with her behavior." However, despite initial resistance, they ultimately prevailed. Dan added, "Eventually she did it, but it was through gritted teeth."
Stock image of a baby clutching its mother's hand. Credit: Lisa Fotios / Pexels
Despite the controversy, the couple maintains their belief in the uniqueness of the name Lucifer. "Honestly, we just thought it was a nice name... a unique one. We didn’t expect to get so much grief about it," said Dan. While Lucifer carries negative connotations, it also signifies the "morning star" and "bearer of light."
Derbyshire County Council, addressing the incident, said, "We apologize if they were offended but it is the job of our registrars to advise in these matters as sometimes people are not aware of certain meanings or associations around certain names."
Now, we can only hope that young Lucifer Sheldon embraces his unusual name as he grows up!
The great playwright William Shakespeare once asked, "What's in a name?", to which anyone with a regular title might respond, "not a lot, mate". However, for the "Jack Hoff's", "Ben Dover's" and "Randy Mann's" of the world, the answer is probably very different.
When naming a child, parents should consider the true gravity of the situation, and understand that however they brand their kid will most likely stick with them for their entire life. Evidently, though, not all of them do, as this list demonstrates...
1. This kid better have siblings called 'Retweet' and 'Blue Tick'
2. Burn, baby, burn
3. You're called what?
4. Best friends with Robin Banks, of course
5. Good luck buddy
6. Born on May the 4th
7. Judge of what, exactly?
8. Must be cool to have your own theme tune though
9. Was he an immaculate conception?
10. He should probably leave
11. Would've been better if his first name started with 'T'
12. Nominative determinism has taught me I should avoid Wendy
13. Ok, this guy one-ups the other Batman
14. He's got a cousin called Jack Daniels
15. I wasn't kidding
16. Otherwise known as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
17. He was literally born for this job
18. Her parents knew what they were doing
19. Nobody will ever believe this guy if he tries to book a restaurant table
20. There's more than one of him!
Some of these are definitely worse than others, but I'll take my boring name over all of them. If you're ever tasked with the duty of naming a child, try and remember these horrific examples of what not to do, or prepare to suffer the consequences of having a kid named Voldemort.
Social media users hit out at "cruel" parents over their newborn son's name, and the concern feels completely understandable.
Naming a child is a huge task, as this person will have to carry it with them for the rest of their life - unless they decide on changing it of course.
There are certain names that play it safe but lack originality, and there are some unique names that are so baffling that it makes you wonder how the parents thought of it.
That's what a couple found out when their son's name was shared on Reddit and many viewers couldn't quite believe what they were seeing.
The user posted an image of the child, whose identity was blurred, with the name that the parents had written underneath and it's certainly bizarre.
Credit: Reddit
"Little Baby Fart, such a mischief-maker," the original poster said, and the image revealed that the newborn baby was called Pheart.
It's easy to understand the concern of those who viewed the post, as we probably all read the name in the same way.
One reader said: "I genuinely cannot figure out how this came to pass," and a second added: "I audibly laughed. Id be unable to call this baby fart without dying laughing. Think of teachers, nurses etc."
Though others did attempt to see reason, with one person saying: "Maybe its pronounced "furt" or "fay-art" or even like "fair-t"... horrible spelling for any of those pronunciations." Others added: "That is so cruel. So cruel."
Another who was attempting to understand the parent's mindset said: "The Parents, probably-it’s pronounced Heart. The p is silent," to which a user jokingly responded: "Silent, but deadly."
Credit: Jamie Grill/Getty Images
Another agreed that the P might be silent by saying: "Maybe intended to be one of those 'the P is silent' words, like pneumonia or pterodactyl, and the parents not knowing that PH usually is read as F."
Some others debated whether English was the first language of the new parents and whether this unfortunate mishap may have lasting consequences on the child.
We certainly hope that this is all a big misunderstanding and that name isn't pronounced "fart" otherwise the child may have a tricky time in school.
A couple won a battle to give their child a name that was "banned" in the UK - but now their son has to live with a pretty wild name for the rest of his life.
Having a baby is a huge occasion, but nobody can truly prepare you for the level of responsibility that comes with being a new parent.
For starters, not only do you have to worry about keeping yourself alive, but now there is this entirely new human being who needs you to do the same for them too.
One of the first big decisions that needs to be made after a baby is born, is what to call them - which is a huge task because this person will likely have this name for life unless they opt to change it.
A couple in the UK seemed very certain about what to call their son when he was born, but they were soon met with resistance from the registrar.
Dan and Mandy Sheldon sat down with The Sun where they revealed that following the reopening of council offices after the Covid-19 pandemic, they went to register their then four-month-old son.
"We were really excited to go and get him registered but the woman looked at us in utter disgust," Dan said. "She told us he would never be able to get a job, and that teachers wouldn’t want to teach him."
But what was the name that caused all this controversy? Well, the parents wanted to name their son Lucifer - a name that is often attributed to the devil.
"I tried to explain that we are not religious people, and Lucifer in Greek means ‘light-bringer’ and ‘morning’ but she wouldn’t listen," Dan continued.
"She even told us that it was illegal to name a child that in New Zealand and that maybe we could name him something else but refer to him as Lucifer at home."
In the Christian faith, Lucifer is the name that was given to the devil when he was an angel before he fell from heaven and ended up in hell.
The name is banned in many countries across the world that are predominantly Christian, including Germany and Switzerland.
The registrar seemed unclear as to whether the UK had similar laws, so the couple was asked to leave the room while she checked.
See more baby names that have been banned below:
"We were gobsmacked with her behavior," Dan said, before revealing that they got their way in the end. "Eventually she did it, but it was through gritted teeth."
He went on: "Honestly, we just thought it was a nice name... a unique one. We didn’t expect to get so much grief about it."
The dictionary states that alongside the evil connotations, Lucifer can also mean "morning star" and "bearer of light", which actually sounds quite nice.
As cited by The Sun, Derbyshire County Council said: "We apologize if they were offended but it is the job of our registrars to advise in these matters as sometimes people are not aware of certain meanings or associations around certain names."
Let's hope little Lucifer is enjoying his name a couple of years on!
Every parent knows that choosing names for your baby can be hard, and it can lead to a lot of heated arguments between you and your partner if you don't agree.
However, there are some names out there that are almost guaranteed to prove contentious, and which the vast majority will think are just totally inappropriate.
If you don't believe me then maybe the following story will change your mind. That's because this week a woman has gone viral on social media this week after revealing her "outright criminal" choices of names for her future kids.
Take a look at this incredible video of a baby talking at eight weeks old:
In a Reddit thread cited by The Daily Mirror, the woman in question took to a parenting advice subreddit to ask the internet what they thought about her name choices which, as you'll see if you read on, all had a bizarre aviation-based theme.
Per The Mirror, the anonymous mother-to-be's suggested baby names for a little boy included: "Boeing Joseph, Vulcan Wright, Aero Spitfire, Sully Victor, and Captain Oscar."
The names for girls followed the same theme. She also went on to suggest: "Concordia Skye, Echo November, Delta Amelia, Sierra Cloud, and Pilot Juliette."
Credit: Pexels
Suffice it to say, but The Mirror reports that some people in the comments were left utterly baffled by the potential baby names.
Per Tyla, one person wrote: "You could always pass your love of aviation onto your kids by .... traveling with them? .... flying with them? Instead of giving them any of these names, they are HEINOUS. [sic]"
Check out this adorable footage of a baby saying "hello" at just 10-weeks-old:
Another Redditor commented: "I really, really hope that this is either a troll or some poor, deluded fourteen year old who thinks she knows it all. Some of these names are outright criminal."
However, Tyla reports that some Redditors were more on board with the names. For instance, one person wrote: "Some of these aren't that bad. Sully Victor and Sierra Cloud wouldn't strike me as odd at all, and Delta Amelia isn't awful either."
So are these names acceptable? Or was the mom taking things way too far? Let us know what you think in the comments below.
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