In this #MeToo and Time's Up era that we're living in, an increased spotlight has been put on women and their experiences of sexual harassment and assault - in the workplace and beyond. And it's about time. For far too long, influential figures (Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Brett Ratner, Louis CK... the list goes on) have abused their power within a system that has enabled them to repeatedly do so.
But while such large movements are necessary to galvanise change in historically regressive fields such as the entertainment industry, it's evident that the everyday sexism that women face in their interactions with men - whether they be romantic interests or figures of authority - are very much entrenched. Certainly, if you're a woman, chances are that you had to contend with cat-calling, inappropriate touching and sexual harassment at least once during the course of your lifetime.
And while we have much greater battles to wage, it's clear that some men can't even grasp the basics: how to make women feel comfortable on dates. Luckily, we live in an age where the heaving forum that is the internet is readily accessible, and so here are 10 women from Reddit revealing what men can do on dates to make women feel at ease and respected...
1. Meet somewhere public"If you're the one who chooses the location, pick somewhere public. If she chooses the location, do not throw a temper tantrum when she picks somewhere public. All too often, when a woman meets a man for a first date somewhere private, bad things can happen - and if they do, she'll be blamed for it, because, 'she should have known better'."
2. Don't overly embellish your dating profile"Look like your profile picture. Yes, that older, prettier picture of yourself in college technically still you, but that's not what you look like now. Related: don't lie about your height. If you're willing to lie about something as immediately obvious as your appearance, what else are you willing to lie about?"
3. Don't ask overly intimate questions"Avoid highly-personal questions and topics of conversation on the first date. I can't imagine that there are a lot of people who want to talk about your d*ck, your fetishes, their fetishes, or your medical history on the first date."
4. Pay the right kind of compliments"If you want to compliment her, try to stick with complimenting things that she's made a choice about. To a lot of people, 'That dress really looks amazing on you,' rings as less objectifying (and therefore less creepy) than, 'Your body is amazing'".
5. This should be obvious"Arrive on time, looking presentable and smelling clean."
6. So should this..."Do not spend all night talking about yourself. Ask her questions."
7. Respect her boundaries"Respect her wishes and boundaries, even if you're just trying to be nice by paying the bill/accompanying her to her flat/driving her home. If she refuses your offer, don't get pushy. This is a really big one for me, because I think to myself, if you can't even respect my wishes when it would benefit you (as in, you'd have more money because you don't need to pay my share of the bill), how are you going to respect them when it doesn't benefit you?"
8. Now, this is just called being polite"Put your phone on vibrate, if not silent, and keep it in your pocket. Personally, I hate it when people are playing on their phones instead of engaging in conversation."
9. Wise words"Don't get drunk."
10. Don't just assume you should make a move"At the end of the night, if you feel like the moment is right to kiss her, then do it, but check in first. "Can I kiss you?" or something might seem weird to ask, but it's even weirder to just move in and try to plant one on her if she's not actually that into you."
11. Consider planning an end point"Have a natural end point planned out. I'm much more comfortable with a stated duration date first time out. Stops me having to find an excuse to leave if we don't click."
12. If you get rejected, just move on"Women aren't prizes to be won after ticking X amount of boxes. Nobody is here pretending like romantic rejection doesn't hurt, of course it does. You have the right to be disappointed, but you absolutely do not have the right to lash out at her, call her names, blow up her phone, demand explanation after explanation and beg for another chance. None of that shit is attractive and it's just going to confirm that she was right to reject you. Just swallow your pride, let her know you respect her wishes, wish her well, and move on."
In other news, 15 people reveal what it was like to hide their relationship from the world.
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