Relationships2 min(s) read
Published 15:42 17 May 2026 GMT
An anonymous insider familiar with the swinging lifestyle has opened up about how dramatically their personal boundaries around sex have changed over time, while also revealing some experiences they still consider “extreme.”
Speaking anonymously to Vice, the source discussed the less glamorous side of swinging that many online advocates rarely talk about.
While they acknowledged that the lifestyle can involve people “having a great time expressing themselves,” they also warned it “can be open to coercive and abusive relationships”.
According to the insider, many people drawn to swinging are simply “sexually open” and use it as a way to explore that particular side of themselves.
However, after years in the scene, they admitted they’ve become desensitized to things that once may have shocked them.
Among the many experiences they described was taking part in a “50 person orgy,” which reportedly involved “around 30 people on mattresses” with “probably another 20 people around the edge.”
Despite witnessing and participating in a wide range of sexual situations, they said there are still certain activities they personally view as crossing the line.
Reflecting on how the lifestyle changed them, the source admitted: “I think since being in the lifestyle my sexual boundaries have shifted quite a lot.”
They added, “I have kind of ceased to be shocked by pretty much any sexual behaviour.”
Still, not everything appeals to them. Discussing acts they personally find too intense, the insider said: “I have friends who are into p**s play, I have friends who you know are into urethral sounding and medical stuff.”
Explaining further, they said: “Urethral sounding is taking a rod and inserting it inside the penis. To me that's pretty extreme but, like, they're living their best life.”
The source also admitted that maintaining emotional and physical boundaries in swinging relationships can be difficult, saying: “I think it's really hard to balance like emotional and physical boundaries with the lifestyle.”
They went on to discuss how swinging can sometimes affect long-term relationships. According to the insider, couples can become “so driven and obsessed by new sex and new ways to have sex” that the emotional side of the relationship is often overlooked, and, in some cases, ignored.
The attraction, they explained, is not only about experimentation but also about constantly seeking “new people to have sex with.”
