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Published 13:40 31 Jul 2026 GMT
Ex-youth pastor left chilling four-word message in suicide note after being accused of pushing wife off cliff
A note written by a former youth pastor accused of pushing his wife off a cliff before taking his own life has been revealed.
David Vander Meer, a former youth pastor from Las Vegas, who was charged with murder over the 2006 death of his wife Bernadette Vander Meer, was found unresponsive in his cell at Clark County Detention Center on June 24.
He had been booked into the center just two days earlier, awaiting extradition to Utah over claims he'd pushed his wife, Bernadette Vander Meer, to her death after she fell more than 1,000 feet off the Angels Landing trail at Utah’s Zion National Park on August 22, 2006.
The tragedy had occurred just one day after the couple, who were both 29 at the time, had visited the tourist attraction to celebrate their wedding anniversary.
Her death was initially ruled accidental "due to a lack of evidence" and "limited investigation," per court documents, but investigators had "felt the circumstances were suspicious."
It came to light that months before Bernadette's tragic 'accident', Vander Meer had applied for life insurance policies for $150,000, before increasing the amount to $550,000 each. After her death, he received $567,439 in July 2007, allowing him to live "lavishly," according to court documents.
The case remained dormant for over 15 years until the police received a tip-off in April 2022 from a youth group member, claiming that Vander Meer had been "using his position of special trust to groom kids."
Court papers claimed Vander Meer began having a sexual affair with a 16-year-old girl, allegedly telling her that they could only be together if his wife were "not alive".
Bernadette had reportedly grown suspicious that her husband was being unfaithful in the year before her death.
Vander Meer later went on to marry the woman he'd had an affair with, before they divorced in 2014 over allegations of infidelity.
Charges were filed against Vander Meer around eight months after his former boss told police that he believed the pastor may have pushed his wife off the cliff.
Vander Meer had been apprehended and was set to be taken to Utah, before he took his own life in his cell, leaving behind a chilling suicide note.
As reported by KUTV, a letter and will were found near his unresponsive body, in which Vander Meer reportedly protested his innocence but acknowledged he would likely be convicted if the case went to trial, writing: "I didn't kill her."
As well as his alleged involvement in Bernadette's death, Vander Meer was also charged with insurance fraud related to the life insurance he'd taken out for her before her death.
He wrote in the suicide note: "When I came here on Monday, I thought our life was going to be inconvienced [sic] for a month or two.
"I’ve always been very selective with what I share to people about how Bernadette died, soley [sic] because I know how bad it looks.
"I was never afraid of legal action though, because I didn’t kill her, and I never thought it would lead to an arrest.
"The additional allegations I have heard about are largely false, but not entirely. They paint a picture that can’t be escaped. They spell conviction.”
He continued to protest his innocence, adding: "I was naive to think that just because I didn’t kill Bernadette that there would be no problem with the charges.
"This is just calculated risk at this point. Reports of the affidavit contain small amounts of truth, but paint a picture I will probably not be able to overcome."
He then thanked an unnamed person for helping him fund his legal fight, adding: "I don’t deserve the finacial [sic] sacrifices of [redacted] to try to fight this.
"[Redacted] doesn’t deserve to be a part of my past failures, and this current mess. None of my family does… I love you all," signing off 'David'.
After being found unresponsive in his cell, Vander Meer was rushed to the University Medical Center less than two miles from the detention center.
He was described as having "self-sustained injuries", with Clark County Sheriff Kevin McMahill adding that he "strangulated himself, and he did it in what I would say a unique and novel way," before be was pronounced dead on June 25.
A "robust review" into his death is planned.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org.













