Published 15:19 29 Sep 2017 GMT

12 Sex memes that are more awkward than sex itself

Ah, sex. Most of us do it, covet it or else make colossal life decisions informed by it, yet a great many of us also feel more than a little uncomfortable discussing it. The reasons for this are most likely rooted in deep set taboos established by generations past, and a more socially liberated culture has allowed all of us to indulge in a more smutty and titillating lexicon, a common parlance that brings us all together: the language of love. Seeing as sex oft consumes our minds and informs our behaviour, wouldn't it be nice to talk frankly about it for once? Good, because these memes are just about as to-the-point and real as it gets. Buckle up.

1. I feel you, I feel you

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/Eden_Eats/status/883576116119650306]]

2. This is genius

3. The nerve

[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BTIHluijwEi/]]

4. Is that in the Karma Sutra?

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/miliondollameat/status/883809906389811200]]

5. I mean... Red

6. Don't ask difficult questions!

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/mattsurely/status/552180385912590336]]

7. Always leave a tip. (Sorry).

[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BPtiRyejczS/]]

8. As long as I'm involved

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/1followernodad/status/658110736644751360]]

9. The struggle

10. It's not you, it's me

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/morninggloria/status/773192426165002240]]

11. My favourite

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/692151601478397952]]

12. Not exactly what I had in mind

I think we've all learned something from these memes. We're all obsessed with sex, and some of us have extremely vivid imaginations.

uncategorised2 min(s) read

Published 14:42 28 Nov 2017 GMT

16 Sex tweets that we can all relate to

Tom Wood

Birds do it. Bees do it. Let's get real here, most of us do it. But the thing about the unspoken "it" is that it doesn't come up in conversation much. Like, it would be pretty weird if you just pitched up at the water cooler one morning and Mike from accounting struck up a conversation by saying, "so, had any good sex recently?" It's just not something we do. And that's almost a little bit disappointing because sex can be a really funny topic sometimes. It's not always as glamorous as it's made out to be in the movies, and it sure as hell doesn't always go to plan, but that's part of what makes it so enjoyable. Luckily, the good people of Twitter are saying the things that we can all relate to on some level or other.

1. There is a time and a place for food

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/shutupmikeginn/status/416327528928645120]]

2. Some are luckier than others

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/staceyseniarose/status/417008579779256321]]

3. We all have our own pace

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/Dawn_M_/status/624970767181193216]]

4. It ain't what you say, it's how you say it

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/superduperkewl/status/114179885131509760]]

5. You'll get some eventually, buddy

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/SortaBad/status/496515716926156800]]

6. It isn't the be all and end all

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/pakalupapito/status/571508595554164736]]

7. Expectation vs. Reality

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/AngelaEhh/status/497614707243909120]]

8. If only real life had a filter

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/msdanifernandez/status/593273318343507968]]

9. God said it, so it's gotta be true

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/TheTweetOfGod/status/470721155607719936]]

10. Asking for advice isn't against the rules

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/RuinMyWeek/status/572130087773982720]]

11. Now that's some real skill

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/Smethanie/status/237319843370647552]]

12. Honestly, it was an honor just to be invited

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/1followernodad/status/658110736644751360]]

13. Why is this never mentioned

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/alexjmann/status/370213781000818688]]

14. But whether or not you involve pineapples is up to you

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/edelheids/status/400025487046479873]]

15. Some would consider her lucky

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/MaryKoCo/status/265347902564597760]]

16. We've all been there, pal

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/Book_Krazy/status/473641661818765312]] If you find yourself quietly chuckling in agreement with some of these tweets, don't feel bad about it - there's at least one other person out there who can relate.

uncategorised1 min(s) read

Published 02:30 29 Dec 2017 GMT

14 filthy jokes about masturbation that are embarrassingly hilarious

Tom Wood

There are those that say they have never done it. There are those that are honest about it. Then there are some that talk about it a bit too much. But the truth is, most of us do it, whether we feel comfortable talking about it or not. But even if you're feeling far too much shame, awkwardness, and embarrassment talking about this with others, you can still get a kick out of these hilarious tweets - all in one safe space (unless someone looks over your shoulder).

1. That awkward moment...

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/meganamram/status/283011153884508160]]

2. What a pun!

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/Fred_Delicious/status/642828477411000320]]

3. Twist ending

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/MollySneed/status/579095773951873025]]

4. Genius

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/Pundamentalism/status/662768685195505664]]

5. Entertaining yourself

6. A surefire sign

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/realHamOnWry/status/668701060874170371]]

7. Solo performance

8. Dilemma for the ages

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/sadvil/status/559493735642570752]]

9. Option C

10. It takes its toll

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/jazmasta/status/412706589536428032]]

11. Communication (with yourself)

12. Hard to imagine

13. Humankind's greatest discovery

If anything, jokes like these point out how ridiculous it is that many of us are so ashamed to talk about the subject at all, because it can be pretty cathartic to laugh at some of the jokes above (when no one's watching).

relationships2 min(s) read

Published 20:11 16 Mar 2018 GMT

12 Most awkward things to say after sex

Tom Wood

It's exciting when you find someone who actually wants to have sex with you, and you don't want to do anything to mess it up. It's a serious, passionate act. You want to be charming, seductive and impressive, so hopefully your partner will let you do it again. (And again and again and again.)

When you're between the sheets, the last thing you want is an awkward moment, like your roommate walking in, or your body making a weird noise. And when you're done, you don't want to say something cringeworthy to leave your partner with a bad impression.

Well, you're about to learn what to avoid. A Reddit user asked, "What's the most awkward thing to say after sex?" These are the 12 best responses.

1. "Hey nice! We got over 50k hits! Viewers loved it"

Well, better to go viral on YouTube than with an STD.

2. "You're about as good as your sister"

Competition is healthy.

3. "That'll do, pig. That'll do."

Everybody loves the 1995 comedy-drama Babe, right?

4. "Good try"

It's important to be supportive.

5. "I'm sorry"

It's also important to be honest.

6. "Thank you for letting me ejaculate inside you."

Women like when men are direct.

7. "And boom goes the dynamite"

Never gets old!

8. "Did you feel it? Did I get it in? When does the condom go on?"

There's no such thing as a bad question.

9. "Should I call an Uber now or"

Don't do it if it's surge pricing.

10. "Thanks mom, can we have KFC for dinner later?"

You gotta love your family.

11. "I had a guy whisper "Good mermaid" in my ear right after he came..."

Sounds fishy.

12. "How much do I owe you?"

You can put a price on love.

So, no matter how awkward it gets in the bedroom, be thankful you didn't say any of these things. And if you did say any of these things, it's not the worst thing that can happen during sex. The worst thing that could happen is a penis snapping...

Tags:

doordash

relationships1 min(s) read

Published 17:11 23 Feb 2018 GMT

16 Filthy posts about sex that will make you cry with laughter

Tom Wood

Sex is a special, intimate act between two people, in which they can express their passionate undying love for each other. And it's also totally hilarious. In school, everyone giggles when they hear the words "nipple" and "butt" and "please turn to page 69." And as you get older, sex remains funny. Classic comedies like American Pie, Superbad, and The 40-Year-Old Virgin turn embarrassing erotic misadventures into huge laughs. Also, it's the foundation of every "That's what she said" joke.

But the funniest comments about sex come from a real place, exposing the honest thoughts and feelings people have, but don't always communicate. And thanks to social media, we can find a lot of them. Here are 16 filthy posts about sex that will make you cry with laughter.

1. Well, he's not wrong

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/RayaVlogs/status/903794001203130370]]

2. Whatever you say, ma'am

3. We're going to have some fun.

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/_allsmilesxo/status/958757720554864642]]

4. That username tho

5. Too soon

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/abstractnights/status/805428177434775552]]

6. Just pretend you're that "Shape Of Water" lady

8. Hey, good things take time

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/imteddybless/status/784032842900762624]]

9. Let's stay inside

10. Switching things up is the key to the healthy relationship

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/allhailahjah/status/707262644827205632]]

11. Sounds intriguing

12. It's a fun place with very interesting people

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/maaaaaadiison/status/787847123240755200]]

13. Crikey!

14. Just looking for some constructive criticism

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/liltinyisabel/status/846819899620163584]]

15. It's all part of a balanced breakfast

16. You have to make up for lost time

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/JFD1960/status/945777659774164992]]

While sex jokes can be overdone, they also never stop being funny. Maybe it's because when people have intercourse, they put themselves in a vulnerable position, and it helps to laugh to ease the tension. Or maybe it's because different genders treat sex so differently. Or maybe dirty words are are just inherently hilarious. I don't know. All I know is, if you want to find sexual humor on the Internet, it's not hard. That's what she said.

Tags:

doordash

uncategorised2 min(s) read

Published 08:36 13 Oct 2017 GMT

16 Tweets that make less sense every time you read them

Tom Wood

While the world is a weird place, it becomes more and more evident that humans are even more bizarre. I mean, think about all of the times that you have started giggling at a distant memory, to yourself, on a packed train. And then there are those intrusive thoughts that tend to come into our minds at the most inappropriate of moments... Normally just as you are drifting off to sleep, you'll begin pondering some of life's most existential questions like "do bald people use soap or shampoo" and whilst you're trying to distinguish between ripe and unripe avocados in the grocery store, you'll stop in your tracks, bamboozled by the fact that round pizza comes in a square box. So in honour of life's many eccentricities, here are 16 tweets that make less and less sense the more you read them:

1. I'm incredibly perplexed

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/oh_hey_sarah/status/877447679407607808]]

2. Children really shouldn't play with their food

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/_multifrank/status/876569704919433216]]

3. The hamster must be on crack

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/_caitlinberry/status/870748815275503617]]

4. I can't believe that no one has ever thought of this

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/skullmandible/status/411281851131523072]]

5. "I must have it"

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/porksodachop/status/306573778719240192]]

6. Well, this is terrifying

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/quailtea/status/868237122314145793]]

7. Why?

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/craiglcalhoun/status/858091425430482944]]

8. This is bizarre

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/destroyfrog/status/869132496771850242]]

9. Awkward

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/charstarlene/status/288119856014954496]]

10. Er, okay...

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/TitansHomer/status/284796840736608257]]

11. The best of both worlds

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/KarenKilgariff/status/360087104870559744]]

12. Wait, what?

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/meganamram/status/327543542408966144]]

13. I really want to know the story behind this

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/hypedresonance/status/706618552967524353]]

14. This is downright scary

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/kibblesmith/status/868550358804594688]]

15. Who knew that cargo shorts had some much empathy

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/DearAnyone/status/12933051432566785]]

16. This is too much

[[twitterwidget||https://twitter.com/superduperkewl/status/114179885131509760]] Well, that's enough food for thought to keep us procrastinating all day long. You're welcome. In other weird news, here are 14 common words that you never realised you were pronouncing incorrectly...