LGBTQ5 min(s) read
Published 11:54 30 Jun 2026 GMT
More and more people are coming out as 'aroace' - but some are still confused as to what the term means.
Sexuality is a broad spectrum, and in recent years, ever more labels have been created to help identify the different parts of it.
One such term is aroace, which refers to aromantic asexuality - which means a person experiences little to no romantic or sexual attraction to others of any gender.
Writer and YouTuber Quin Caid opened up about being aroace and how they discovered they identified with the term.
Quin revealed that they began watching LGBTQIA videos on YouTube, where they first learned about what asexuality meant.
They explained: "I watched hundreds of these videos but it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that the term 'sexual orientation' often refers to your sexual attraction.
"And then I discovered what being asexual was, which is when you don't experience sexual attraction or you experience very little of it, and I did not even have a questioning period. I heard it and I was like 'that's me, 100 percent.'
"And that was that, I knew I was ace, I was very comfortable with that, it was great."
Quin added: "It was really easy for me to accept that I was ace but I didn't even realize that I was aro until maybe five years later.
"It caught me very off-guard because I assumed that I was experiencing romantic attraction. I thought maybe I was panromantic because I have the same feelings for all genders, but it turns out that feeling was nothing.
"Up until age 19, I genuinely thought crushes were something you chose."
Quin revealed that they discovered that their views on romantic relationships fit into the definition of aro, explaining: "What made me realize that I was aro was when someone told me that kissing, and cuddling, and going on dates, and holding hands was romance.
"And even though I had grown up watching romcoms and such, it had never occurred to me that that's what romantic attraction was. I simply did not know that having a crush normally meant that you wanted to be closer to that person and have more of an intimate relationship with them of some sort.
"I thought the fact that I didn't want to kiss anyone was related to me being ace but then I found out that that particular version could actually be its own separate category, which kind of changed my entire perspective."
Quin revealed that finding they identified with the aroace label was freeing, explaining: "It wasn't until I let go of that heteronormative idea and the fear of not fitting into it that I finally felt free, because I no longer felt like I had to meet someone's expectations to have my own happiness."
Relationship and wedding expert Gemma Logan at The Foxy Hen explained to VT: "Being aroace means someone identifies as both aromantic and asexual. In simple terms, they experience little or no romantic attraction and little or no sexual attraction to other people.
"It's important to remember that this is about attraction rather than behaviour. An aroace person might choose to date, they might not.
"They might have close friendships, they might enjoy physical affection, or they might prefer not to. There isn't one single way to be aroace."
While people may assume that being aroace means people don't want a partner, Gemma explained: "One of the biggest misconceptions is that aroace people don't care about relationships or don't have deep emotional connections. That's simply not true.
"Human connection comes in countless forms. Many aroace people have incredibly rich lives filled with meaningful friendships, family bonds, creative passions and supportive communities.
"Romantic love isn't the only love that matters, even though society often treats it as the ultimate goal."
She added that aroace people can enjoy meaningful relationships without a romantic or sexual element: "Being aroace doesn't automatically mean someone wants to be alone. Some people enjoy committed partnerships based on companionship rather than romance.
"Others prioritise close friendships that become the central relationships in their lives. Some are happiest living independently. The beauty of relationships is that they don't all have to follow the same script. Healthy relationships are built on honesty, respect and shared expectations, whatever form they take."
As with Quin, for many people who identify as aroace, having a term that encompasses their sexuality can help them feel more understood.
Gemma adds: "From childhood, we're surrounded by stories that suggest everyone will eventually fall in love, find a partner and live happily ever after.
"For aroace people, those expectations can feel confusing, isolating or simply irrelevant. There's often unnecessary pressure to explain themselves or convince others that they're perfectly happy.
"The reality is that happiness doesn't come from ticking relationship milestones. It comes from living in a way that feels authentic.
"Understanding aroace identities helps us move away from the idea that there's only one correct way to experience love and connection.
"When we recognise that attraction exists on a broad spectrum, we create space for people to be themselves without feeling broken or incomplete. That's good for everyone because it encourages more open conversations about boundaries, expectations and what genuinely makes people feel fulfilled."
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