Published 10:23 14 Jun 2026 GMT
A cruise ship employee has opened up about the reality of dating on board, explaining that while cruise ships have a reputation for being a romantic "free-for-all," the truth is a little more nuanced.
It's often said that when large groups of young adults live and work together in close proximity for months at a time, ties begin to form and relationships are bound to develop.
Cruise ships are no exception to such a rule. However, according to YouTuber and cruise ship worker Wanderlust Alley, the environment simply accelerates connections that might take much longer to form on land.
Sharing insights from her own experiences, Alley explained: "Well, let me tell you what it's like," noting that some of her "personal experiences" helped shape her perspective.
The worker said one of the biggest differences about life at sea is how quickly people get to know each other.
"I would like to note that ships are a very expedited environment; if you enjoy someone's company, it is beyond tangible to spend so much time together and get to know each other," she explained.
To illustrate her point, Alley compared ship life to dating back home. On land, a couple might go out for dinner on a Friday night and not see each other again until the following weekend. On a cruise ship, however, people often find themselves spending nearly every day together.
After meeting for dinner, crew members might end up having "breakfast, lunch, dinner" together the very next day and continue seeing each other regularly.
Because of this, relationships can seem to move quickly from an outsider's perspective.
"So maybe on the outside looking in, it may look like the situation is a bit rushed," Alley said. "But you can just form relationships super quickly here."
She noted that many crew members eventually marry people they meet while working at sea, though casual relationships also exist.
One of her colleagues described life on board as being similar to "college at sea," while another admitted that dating on a cruise ship "is nice" but can become challenging when contracts end, and people leave the vessel.
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Another crew member shared that he once had a "ship relationship" where both people understood from the start that it would end when his contract finished.
Not everyone approaches onboard relationships the same way. One worker stressed the importance of commitment, saying: "You have to control yourself."
He continued: "For me, if you have a girlfriend, you're not having a girlfriend to just play around – if you are committed, you have to be committed."
However, he acknowledged that some people have different arrangements.
"But I know that other people have families at home and they have agreements where they get on a ship and then they have ship wives, ship husbands."
According to Alley, opportunities to meet people are plentiful, but she believes cruise ship dating is not dramatically different from what happens elsewhere.
"There is a lot of opportunity" on board if you "want it," she said, adding that it doesn't "vary too much from what happens on land."
The biggest distinction, she argued, is convenience.
"I think the major difference here is that the bar is as easy as a four-minute walk from your house, and that just means it's simple to meet people," she explained.
She also pointed out that privacy can be hard to come by in such a close-knit and often cramped environment.
"And on top of that, because we're in a confined environment, everyone just may seem to know about it."
While cruise ship romances may have a reputation for being fast-paced, Alley suggests that's largely because life at sea naturally brings people together much more quickly than everyday life on land.
Published 11:07 15 Jul 2025 GMT
A woman who works on cruises has opened up about how dating works on board, referring to it as a "free-for-all."
Cruise employee and content creator Wanderlust Alley recently peeled back the curtain on love, hookups, and emotional rollercoasters at sea in her YouTube video, Working on a Cruise Ship – Expectation vs Reality.
And spoiler: the rumors about shipboard romances might not be as exaggerated as you'd think.
Alley starts off by addressing the one question she says she’s constantly asked: intimacy and dating on cruise ships.
“The expectation is that it’s just a massive free-for-all,” she says - before confirming that, yes, that perception holds up, at least in her experience.
From there, she opens up about her own relationships formed while working onboard, explaining that things tend to move much faster than they would back on land.
“I would like to note that ships are a very expedited environment; if you enjoy someone’s company, it is beyond tangible to spend so much time together and get to know each other,” she says.
“So maybe on the outside looking in, it may look like the situation is a bit rushed.
“But you can just form relationships super quickly here.”
And those fast-moving connections aren’t always short-lived. Alley reveals that it’s not uncommon for cruise staff to tie the knot after finding love onboard. But it’s not all serious either.
“That doesn’t mean that casual relationships aren’t happening as well,” she admits.
One of her colleagues jumps in to echo that reality: “You have to control yourself.”
Another coworker shares his own take on what he calls a “ship relationship,” saying it came with an expiration date: “It was agreed that it would come to an end when they disembarked.”
But not everyone treats cruise ship relationships casually.
Another cruise worker says: “For me, if you have a girlfriend, you’re not having a girlfriend to just play around – if you are committed, you have to be committed.
“But I know that other people have families at home and they have agreements where they get on a ship and then they have ship wives, ship husbands.”
That reality adds a complicated layer to the already unique cruise culture. As Alley puts it: “There is a lot of opportunity” onboard if you’re open to it or “want it.”
She closes by comparing dating at sea to dating on land - and points out how cruise life shifts the whole dynamic.
“I think the major difference here is that the bar is as easy as a four-minute walk from your house and that just means it’s simple to meet people.
“And on top of that, because we’re in a confined environment, everyone just may seem to know about it.”
Published 15:24 09 Apr 2026 GMT
Vacations on a ship might sound like the perfect place for romance, but Lucy Southerton, who began working on cruise ships at just 19, is warning that relationships at sea can quickly turn complicated.
She explained in a YouTube video on her channel, Cruising As Crew, that getting involved with someone at sea is very different from dating a coworker on land.
"Now, the reason is if you're working a job on land, of course, everyone in the office likes the office gossip and is involved in everyone's business," she said.
"But you get to leave the office and go home to your friends and your family who are completely separate from those people that you work with," she added.
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Lucy, from Birmingham, explained that life on a ship is completely different because you leave your friends and family behind, meaning your coworkers become your entire social circle.
"So you're going to be getting all of your needs met from this one group of people," she said.
"They're also going to be your professional team who you want to impress on a professional level if it's a career and you want to progress. And what this means is there is no escape."
She said that there's "no escape" from your colleagues because you see them every day, and they would want to gossip about the "new relationship that's sparking up between you and so and so".
While relationships can feel exciting at first, Lucy cautioned that things can quickly become uncomfortable if they don’t work out.
"And this is obviously amazing when everything is going well because it's fun to tell your work colleagues, 'Oh my God, we did this, we did this. It was so good. We had such a good time,'" she said.
"And it's really fun to see your crush at work. It adds a little bit of excitement to the day like, 'Oh my God, he's over there'. When the conversations you're having with your team members are, 'Yeah, I'm really upset, I'm really disappointed, or 'I've really upset him or her."
"And you can't escape him or her. You have to see them every day for the next four months," she said.
"That is when it gets a little bit sticky. And you know what? If we could control who we got feelings for, wouldn't life be literally 20 times easier?"
Another cruise insider, Megan McGuinness, who lives onboard with her husband, confirmed that relationships between crew members are common, but there are strict rules when it comes to passengers.
"The next thing was all the crew just hook up with each other - yeah, kinda, think of it as a small town - people are meeting, they’re dating," she said, per The Sun.
"It might be for a short time, they might end up married, having kids, who knows?"
However, she made it clear that crossing the line with guests can have serious consequences.
"Crew will get fired if they hook up with guests? Yes, for obvious reasons, self-explanatory," she said.
Published 17:46 11 Mar 2018 GMT
Whenever I get bored of the city and its breakneck, cutthroat day-to-day, I sometimes like to think of how different my life would be if I were a sailor. No longer would I have to squeeze into a crowded train or bus, with a thousand stresses fighting for my very strained attention. Instead, my boss would be Poseidon himself, and I'd say things like "shiver me timbers", or "hard starboard, me landlubbers!"
It is very possible that I am confusing working at sea with being a pirate, but one demographic who probably wouldn't make that mistake are those who actually work at sea. They recently spilled the beans about a life on the waves via Reddit, and if you're thinking of adopting the nautical lifestyle, maybe you could learn a thing or two.
1. If you can, try not to get fired
"It was the worst job I’ve ever had in my life. Some bullet points: If you get fired, the line I worked for would kick you off on whatever island they docked at next. Sounds fair – but some of these kids had just started working and had no money saved up that could get them home.
"I did not have a single day off during my entire five-month contract, and we worked split shifts: anywhere from 12-17 hours a day. You saw these amazing places from a porthole. I got off the ship like three times. The percentage of people with an STD triples when you compare entry vs. exit tests. Lots’a freakiness. I hooked up with a girl in one bunk while her roomie did the same with my buddy. Lots of drinking."
2. This story does make it does sound kind of great
"Ex cruise ship employee here. We get absolutely plastered below deck. Everyone gets it on all over the ship. My girlfriend at the time and I had a competition with an officer and his lady for the riskiest place to have sex. I thought we had won with the bow of the ship in the middle of the night. Nope.
"He, being an officer, stopped the elevator midway. His lady and him jumped on top of the elevator while it was stopped and proceeded to actually ride the elevator and get it on as guests were getting on and off the elevator beneath them. From what I know, he had a friend of his on the bridge stop the elevator for him, so they could get ‘in position.’ I assume he was also making sure the elevator did not crush them as well.
"Secondly, I was a dancer in the cast on-board, and I had a lot more free time than most, being that all I did was perform in the shows. I do suggest working on ships, for anyone who is curious. It’s a great way to see the world, make lifelong friends, and get laid!! I know many couples who met on a ship and are married with kids now etc. It really sets the stage for a nice fling, or love, depending on where you’re coming from and what you’re ready for.”
3. It sounds like they have more fun than the guests!
"I am a cruise ship worker. First one is, we don’t want you to know that we actually have more fun than the guests. Sure we’ll work the big white hot party that you’re all going to, but once we finish our shift all hell is breaking loose in the crew bar.
"Just below and to the sides of where you are sleeping there are crew members having sex, smoking and drinking. Our beers are $1. No drugs or spirits though.
"We also don’t want you to know that all those funny jokes we tell you at bingo? Yeah…Same ones are said every. Single. Cruise. That really funny answer you gave us about your wife during the happy couples game? Heard it. It was said last cruise and the one before that, and the one before that…
"We are not allowed to have sex with to passengers…But we do know the all the nooks and crannies the cameras don’t reach. There are morgues below deck and a jail cell. We get at least 3 deaths on-board a month. Some people go on a cruise to die."
4. Pass the blunt, sailor
"I had a solid gig playing on a cruise line for a couple summers as a jazz musician. I played with a house quartet every night for three months. Here are some things you may not know about the job: almost EVERY employee smoked weed. When we weren’t performing or sleeping, we were toking like there was no tomorrow, it was a great way to pass the time.
"Disease spreads incredibly fast. There were a couple episodes of a stomach flu taking over the ship. It was so bad I thought we were going to have to get the CDC to disinfect the ship. Overall it was a really fun job for the summer. Pay wasn’t spectacular, but I got to go to awesome places, meet new people, and play nightly gigs."
5. The more you know about cruise ships, the better
"My dad is an Electrical engineer on [one of the largest passenger vessels of all time]. What many people don’t know is that modern cruise ships are often very maneuverable despite their size. My dad’s ship has Azipods and forward bow thrusts, giving it the ability to move in any direction, even side to side and backwards without tug boats.
"Because of this maneuverability, the ship does not have to lower its anchor for short periods of time, it has a system that monitors it’s locations (GPS) and autonomously makes corrections so it will not drift away.
"There is almost no swaying on the ship. It’s gross tonnage is 225,000 tons, so it is rather massive. In rough seas, it can extend fins below the water line that act like wings on airplanes. Gyroscopes monitor for any swaying, and the fins make corrections so the ship is nearly unaffected in even the largest waves."
6. If you can help it, be Canadian
"I worked as a seasonal worker on a cruise ship, and it was super fun. The crew was almost all young, and the bar below deck was incredibly cheap. However, the reason it was so cheap was that most of the staff got paid almost nothing and had to do long stints in order to have their flight paid for.
"I would fly down during holidays for cruises as short as one week and then get flown back. For me it wasn’t that different from being a passenger. I could eat in the same restaurants as the passengers and I also stayed in a normal cabin. We could order room service if we wanted. The parties were fun because everyone was there alone, so you got accepted pretty quick. The down side was the blatant inequality for the staff from the Philippines. They were required to do 8 months work at a time with almost no time off, while I would be flown back and forth for a week simply because I was from Canada."
Well, there you go, folks. Of course, living at sea isn't for everyone (I, for example, am super seasick), but what these stories show you is another side of life outside the city or the countryside. From what I can tell, if you're looking for a way to meet interesting new people and have a ton of fun to boot, then why not be a sailor for a little while?
Published 14:06 05 Nov 2025 GMT
We've all wondered what really happens on a cruise ship between workers and passengers, and it would seem it isn't anything good.
Being alone at sea with new people constantly coming aboard presumably gives workers a big selection of potential partners.
But one worker has advised everyone to stay away completely, claiming it could be a recipe for disaster.
Lucy Southerton, who hails from Birmingham, knows exactly what it’s like to live and work on the open sea.
At just 19 years old, she joined a cruise ship crew as a massage therapist, and she’s now sharing her behind-the-scenes experience on her YouTube channel, Cruising As Crew.
Lucy’s insights strip away the glossy romance of cruise life and reveal what really goes down when co-workers get a little too close for comfort.
What seems like a dreamy fling surrounded by sunsets, cocktails, and the sound of waves could actually turn into a nightmare, according to Lucy.
She warns anyone tempted to spark up a “seacret” relationship to think twice.
"Sleeping with a colleague on a cruise ship is very different to sleeping with a colleague in a job on land," she explained. "Now, the reason is if you're working a job on land, of course, everyone in the office likes the office gossip and is involved in everyone's business.
"But you get to leave the office and go home to your friends and your family who are completely separate from those people that you work with."
Sleeping with people on a cruise might not be the best idea. Credit: Megan Maloy / Getty
Unlike your regular 9-to-5 where you can leave the drama behind at the office, life on a cruise ship offers no such luxury.
"On a ship, you have obviously left your friends and family at home to work on a ship, which means that the people you work with are going to become your friends, your family and everything in between.
"So you're going to be getting all of your needs met from this one group of people," shared Lucy.
And if that group is also the source of your romantic drama? Buckle up.
"They're also going to be your professional team who you want to impress on a professional level if it's a career and you want to progress. And what this means is there is no escape.
"There is no escape from the people you work with because you work every single day on a cruise ship contract, so you will see these people every single day and they will want to talk about the new relationship that's sparking up between you and so and so."
Sure, the butterflies and banter feel exciting at first. It’s all good when things are going smoothly—until they’re not.
"And this is obviously amazing when everything is going well because it's fun to tell your work colleagues, 'Oh my God, we did this, we did this. It was so good. We had such a good time," Lucy went on.
"And it's really fun to see your crush at work. It adds a little bit of excitement to the day like, 'Oh my God, he's over there'. When the conversations you're having with your team members are, 'Yeah, I'm really upset, I'm really disappointed, or 'I've really upset him or her.
"And you can't escape him or her. You have to see them every day for the next four months.
"That is when it gets a little bit sticky. And you know what? If we could control who we got feelings for, wouldn't life be literally 20 times easier?"
Published 09:50 09 Sep 2025 GMT
A woman who lives a large chunk of her life on a cruise ship has revealed what she is and is not allowed to do.
Now, when you think of a cruise, you think of a vacation, right? The sun, the sea and shuffleboard.
But for those who make cruising a regular part of their lives, there are actually a few rules that they must abide by in order to make life on the waves.
Meet Christine Kesteloo, a lifestyle influencer who lives on board a cruise ship with her husband, who is a Staff Chief Engineer.
Branding herself a "wife onboard", she gets to stay for free wherever her husband is working, even getting free food during her trip - sounds like heaven, right?
Well, it is, as long as Christine follows four particular rules, the first being no gambling.
Taking to TikTok in a video, the influencer explained that she can't gamble while on board because "it would look a little weird if I, as the wife of the staff chief engineer, won a big jackpot."
The second rule she must abide by is no lateness.
While Christine is considered an extension of the crew, the ship will not wait for her if she's late.
"No, they will not wait for us,” she said in the clip.
The same goes for her husband too. If they "miss ship [sic], someone else will take over the role."
The third rule is strictly no filming of the crew or passengers on board the vessel - especially during emergencies.
With almost a million followers on TikTok alone, it's no wonder why this is a rule for Christine.
"If there is a crew member or guest that has gone overboard and we do a search, I am not showing you videos of the medical evacuation," she said, still adding that when she's off the ship, she can do as she pleases.
And the last rule she must follow is giving up her spot if she needs to.
She gives up her space in guest areas if it’s packed, because "it’s just the right thing to do" and while she gets her food for free, she does have to pay for sodas and alcohol - but with a 50 percent discount.
I mean, that sounds like a good deal to me.
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