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Published 20:46 23 Nov 2017 GMT
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Published 14:17 21 Jun 2026 GMT
Many people have wondered why sex can feel completely different from one partner to another, even when physical measurements appear similar.
According to leading urologist and pelvic surgeon Dr. Rena Malik, the answer may have less to do with size and more to do with how the body's muscles function during sex.
Speaking on an episode of The Diary of a CEO with host Steven Bartlett, Dr. Malik was asked why different vaginas can feel different during intercourse.
Bartlett also pointed out that people often report that different penises can feel noticeably different too, even when they are roughly the same size.
The discussion focused on what is happening inside the body during sex and why sensations can vary from person to person. Rather than suggesting that one vagina is physically smaller or larger than another, Dr. Malik explained that muscle control can play a significant role in how sex feels.
When Bartlett asked why different vaginas feel different, Dr. Malik explained that pelvic floor strength may be one of the key reasons.
She said: "Let's talk with the vaginas first. So when a vagina has more pelvic floor strength, they may be able to tense around the penis better. They may be able to grab the penis with their pelvic floor a little stronger versus someone who doesn't."
According to Dr. Malik, stronger pelvic floor muscles can allow a person to contract around the penis more effectively during sex, creating a different sensation for both partners.
She also addressed a common concern that can arise when people hear advice about relaxing the pelvic floor.
Dr. Malik said: "That's where I think some people get worried when I say 'You need to relax your pelvic floor'; they're like, 'Oh, I don't want to be loose,' and that's not gonna happen if you have a normally functioning pelvic floor."
Bartlett then asked whether pelvic floor exercises could make someone feel tighter during sex.
Dr. Malik replied: "Well, you're able to contract and squeeze those muscles during sex better. But we don't want you to be tighter; we want you to be able to squeeze the muscles and relax the muscles, use them like a normal muscle, like your bicep: you squeeze and relax. You don't want it to be constantly squeezed."
Her explanation suggests that the goal is not constant tension. Instead, healthy pelvic floor function involves being able to contract and relax the muscles when needed.
She went on to explain that the perception of tightness can be different from actual physical tightness.
Dr. Malik said: "To the mind it will feel tighter; you will perceive it as tighter, but it will not be that she's actually tighter. It just means that maybe her pelvic floor muscles are doing a better job."
The conversation also explored the opposite side of the equation, with Bartlett asking why different penises can feel different even when they are a similar size.
Dr. Malik explained that a range of factors can influence sensation during sex.
She said: "It's generally how the penis moves and how the positioning is. It may be girth that's different; it may be the way that you're moving in the vaginal canal, and that may be why it feels different."
Published 13:47 21 Jun 2026 GMT
Many people have wondered why sex can feel completely different from one partner to another, even when physical measurements appear similar.
According to leading urologist and pelvic surgeon Dr. Rena Malik, the answer may have less to do with size and more to do with how the body's muscles function during sex.
Speaking on an episode of The Diary of a CEO with host Steven Bartlett, Dr. Malik was asked why different vaginas can feel different during intercourse.
Bartlett also pointed out that people often report that different penises can feel noticeably different too, even when they are roughly the same size.
The discussion focused on what is happening inside the body during sex and why sensations can vary from person to person. Rather than suggesting that one vagina is physically smaller or larger than another, Dr. Malik explained that muscle control can play a significant role in how sex feels.
When Bartlett asked why different vaginas feel different, Dr. Malik explained that pelvic floor strength may be one of the key reasons.
She said: "Let's talk with the vaginas first. So when a vagina has more pelvic floor strength, they may be able to tense around the penis better. They may be able to grab the penis with their pelvic floor a little stronger versus someone who doesn't."
According to Dr. Malik, stronger pelvic floor muscles can allow a person to contract around the penis more effectively during sex, creating a different sensation for both partners.
She also addressed a common concern that can arise when people hear advice about relaxing the pelvic floor.
Dr. Malik said: "That's where I think some people get worried when I say 'You need to relax your pelvic floor'; they're like, 'Oh, I don't want to be loose,' and that's not gonna happen if you have a normally functioning pelvic floor."
Bartlett then asked whether pelvic floor exercises could make someone feel tighter during sex.
Dr. Malik replied: "Well, you're able to contract and squeeze those muscles during sex better. But we don't want you to be tighter; we want you to be able to squeeze the muscles and relax the muscles, use them like a normal muscle, like your bicep: you squeeze and relax. You don't want it to be constantly squeezed."
Her explanation suggests that the goal is not constant tension. Instead, healthy pelvic floor function involves being able to contract and relax the muscles when needed.
She went on to explain that the perception of tightness can be different from actual physical tightness.
Dr. Malik said: "To the mind it will feel tighter; you will perceive it as tighter, but it will not be that she's actually tighter. It just means that maybe her pelvic floor muscles are doing a better job."
The conversation also explored the opposite side of the equation, with Bartlett asking why different penises can feel different even when they are a similar size.
Dr. Malik explained that a range of factors can influence sensation during sex.
She said: "It's generally how the penis moves and how the positioning is. It may be girth that's different; it may be the way that you're moving in the vaginal canal, and that may be why it feels different."
Published 16:43 01 Nov 2024 GMT
1. This woman says it's like a "good sneeze"
"A gradual building of enjoyable tension and then a quick release with a little jolt of pleasure. The best analogy is a good sneeze, the kind that goes aah-aah-AAH-AAH-CHOO, but with a longer buildup and usually more pleasure and a bit more duration on the release.
Sometimes, at first, a girl's orgasm can be so small she's not sure if it was a real one. But gradually your body gets better at doing the build-up longer and further, holding off the release so it's stronger."
2. And here's a rather weird comparison...
"I think like when you a get a mosquito bite and you scratch it and you get that oooooooooooooh my god feeling. Like that but more central to your genitals"
3. It's different for everyone
"Like every muscle in my body is being squeezed. I don't get the 'waves of pleasure' thing everyone talks about."
4. Good to know
"Aside from them being slightly longer on average than a male climax, I haven't found any reason to believe that a clitoral orgasm is much different from a penile one (aside from the fact that most of us don't ejaculate when we cum). Descriptions of vaginal and prostate orgasms sound pretty similar too, and scientists have actually recorded almost identical sets of pelvic muscle spasms in males and females."
5. Some orgasms last longer than others
"It begins like an throbbing sensation in my clitoris. Then it grows into an almost burning/tingling sensation that spreads out in waves across my pelvis. It can last anywhere from a few seconds to almost a minute or two. Many women have different experiences but that is the closest I can describe to what I feel."
6. Sneezing is a really popular comparison
"It feels like a sneeze to me. A growing sensation that is like ahhh, ahhhhh, ahhhhhhhhh with tiny shocks going down my legs, with the orgasm itself being the CHOOOOOOO. My clit throbs two, three times and it feels like it is trying to turn itself inside out. Then, immediately following the throb is a small gush or two, maybe a teaspoon or two at the most. Then, so sensitive I can't touch there. Then just subsiding relief. And... sleep, if possible."
7. For this woman it's just "ammmmaazzziinnnng"
"Like an itch you can't scratch thats almost unbearable and when it's there it feels ammmmaazzziinnnng."
8. It makes sense
"To me, it feels like a vibration from one of those massage chairs. Obviously, in a different region times a thousand in intensity."
9. This woman describes the difference between clitoral and vaginal orgasms for her
"Clitoral: kind of like holding your breath and beginning to pass out. Your body clenches up, you feel momentarily out of control, and then you take that glorious staggering breath of relief.
Vaginal: intense, powerful, and fulfilling. During vaginal stimulation, for me, it feels like there's an aching void that needs to be filled. Every stroke adds to the desire, and I start to feel ripples of sensation quake through me until finally a thunderous applause erupts from within. It's glorious."
10. It's like a "wave"
"I heard it was like a rush, then like a wave...... like a rushing wave"
11. This is a nice, simple explanation
"Lots of shivers and twitches!"
12. Now that sounds like a great orgasm
"Like being wasted and eating a really f***ing good burrito"
13. This woman likens it to a tsunami
"The surfing analogy is pretty accurate. I always call it the 'tsunami' because it gets bigger and bigger until it carries you away."
Well there you have it, the female orgasm is a complex, yet wonderful thing. Personally, I think it's made even more special off the back of being slightly different for everyone. I mean, who wants to cum in the same way as everyone else? In other sex related news, these are nine things that guys secretly hate about sex with the woman on top...Published 12:06 19 Aug 2024 GMT
A doctor has revealed the body part that gives an indication of a man's penis size.
One of the biggest infatuations in the world seems to be with penis size - what length is best? Can one make it bigger? What do women tend to prefer?
Some have even tried to find ways to determine which men have the biggest penis sizes without even getting into their pants.
Speaking on Steven Bartlett's 'Diary of a CEO' podcast Dr. Rena Malik, a surgeon and expert in urology, decided to debunk those theories with real-life studies after she was asked whether there was a body part that can accurately reflect the size of one's shaft.
"One of the myths around penis size is that if I have big hands - because you know, these aren't small hands - that... I have a big penis. Or that if I have big feet, then I [also] have a big penis," the host asked.
"Is there data to support this idea that the length of any part of my body is correlated to my penis?"
Dr. Malik responded by quoting the results of a study that could actually help to identify this, but it did not involve hands or feet.
"There’s one study - it’s a Japanese study where they looked at only Japanese men so there are some limitations - but they measured all these body parts and penile length and they found was that nose length was correlated with penile length, not hand length or foot," she explained.
"So how do I increase the length of my nose?" joked Bartlett.
Dr. Malik noted that these things are not within one's control and that they're "pre-genetically determined to some degree."
However, she also added that over the years due to evolution, penile length (on average) has increased and is most likely going to continue to increase.
Elsewhere, the surgeon also opened up about the average length of a shaft, stating that it comes in at around 5.1 to 5.3 inches.
She also pointed out that men tend to think it's bigger than it actually is, explaining that they think it's about six inches.
But after studying which sex toys are the most popular among women, it was discovered that they prefer around the average length of a normal penis rather than anything bigger.
So there we have it folks, if you're worried about your penis size, don't be - you might just have an average one just like most others!
1. What's it like to have an orgasm?
It's probably very different to how men experience them.
2. On that note, what's the difference between a vaginal and clitoral orgasm?
The fact that there are two different types of orgasms kind of blows men's minds.
3. Is trimming pubes as scary for you as it is for us?
So many things can go wrong for men. Could they go wrong for women, too?
4. Is squirting just pee?
I mean, it makes sense if it is...
5. Is going to the OBGYN super awkward and uncomfortable?
It's super uncomfortable when doctors look at men's junk, but adding stirrups makes everything seem a lot scarier.
6. What's up with discharge?
What's its purpose?
7. What's it like to have multiple orgasms?
It just doesn't seem fair to men.
8. Is there really such a thing as "too big"
While many blokes don't have this rather unfortunate problem, we can imagine that it wouldn't be the most comfortable thing ever.
9. Do we look weird when we orgasm?
Women have quite the range of facial features when they're climaxing, but dudes never get to see their own...
10. Do you really fake orgasms?
Guys everywhere really, really hope not.
So there you have it, the majority of men know very little about the female anatomy. But, is it really a surprise to anyone? Probably not.