If you're planning on getting married next spring, cancel your wedding. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding is the only one that matters. We can't get enough of the new royal couple. Women are asking plastic surgeons for "Meghan Markle noses". A forensic artist created images of what their children will look like. Meghan's half-sister is writing a book about their childhood called "The Diary of Princess Push's Sister." The world officially has royal fever. I'm going out to get my "Prince Harry nose" tomorrow. However, there's one person we haven't heard from yet: Vladimir Putin. Also, Meghan Markle's dad. What does he think of his daughter becoming a princess? Every father wants the best for his daughter, and you can't do much better than a Prince. But maybe Megan's father isn't thrilled about her joining the royal family. All of a sudden, the Markles are thrust into the international spotlight, and not everyone craves that kind of attention attention. Also, British people call soccer "football." What a bunch of weirds. Well, wonder no more! British tabloid The Mirror tracked down Meghan Markle's reclusive father. Thomas Markle, 73, is a retired Hollywood lighting technician who lives in Mexico, near Rosarito Beach. When reporters tracked him down, he was at a store buying a "four-pack of Heineken and cigarettes," so you know he's down for having a good time. It's pretty impressive the reporters found him. According to Meghan's brother, Tom Jr., their dad "loves her but hates the idea of being in the spotlight." Hope you like this article, Thomas! To smooth over the J.D. Salinger of the Markle family, the Mirror reporter brought Thomas a present: champagne and tea. Then they got down to business, asking him what he thinks of his daughter marrying Prince Harry. "I hate it. I wish she would have married Kanye West," said the angry father. Just kidding. Thomas Markle did not say that. He said, "I'm very pleased. I'm delighted." Then, when asked if he would walk his daughter down the aisle to give her away, the proud father said, "I'd love to."   [[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/BG2Ev79GBH3/]] As you can tell from Meghan's adorable Father's Day post on Instagram, the two have a great relationship. In the caption, Meghan thanks for her father for everything he's given her. "Thanks for my work ethic, my love of Busby Berkeley films & club sandwiches, for teaching me the importance of handwritten thank you notes, and for giving me that signature Markle nose." Well, you better thank him for that nose, Meghan! Right now a lot of women are paying a lot of money to get that nose, and you got it for free! Unfortunately, Meghan's father didn't give up any juicy information. “I’m sorry," Thomas told the reporter. "You know I can’t talk." Well, we don't blame him. Not everyone is prepared for the whirlwind of fame that comes with joining the royal family. But if every interview comes with a gift of champagne and tea, it can't be that bad.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have only been married for five minutes, and already people are snooping around in their private lives in order to try and suss out whether or not they're planning on making any babies anytime soon.

But, really, what sort of hints are they going to drop? I mean, it's not as if that Big H and Megs are likely to walk arm-in-arm down to their nearest IKEA, then emerge before the awaiting swarthes of paparazzi with armfuls of new furniture in boxes marked "BABY CRIB". Nor do they seem like the sort of couple to post teasing posts on Instagram - you know, those soppy pictures in which parents-to-be imply that they're expecting by posing in a certain way with colourful balloons.

Despite this, some people think they've spotted a clue that the couple are preparing for a little one at some point in the reasonably new future - and it's all because of an advert that appeared on Autotrader this week.

The advert was for a year-old Audi RS6 Avant - but it wasn't just any Audi, it was Prince Harry's Audi.

Now, you may be thinking: what's the big deal? People trade in their cars all the time. Some do it because their old banger isn't running as well anymore, others do it because they can afford a nicer model now, and many end up sacrificing their trusty vehicles because they're not suitable family cars.

The thing is: Harry's car wasn't old, he doesn't need the money, and it's not as if he could have just bought another new car and keep the current one if he really wanted to. So that only leaves one explanation: he wants to trade it in for a model that's more appropriate for a family with kids.

Erin Baker, Auto Trader's editorial director, commented: "[It's a] 17 reg and [has] low mileage, so it begs the questions why is the prince selling so soon?... Maybe he's on the market for a bigger family car."

Of course, at this point, it's pure speculation.

If the newlyweds do have kids soon, however - or even if they wait a short while - they have a greater chance of having twins than the average couple.

As Helen Turier, the head of family and professional support at the Twins and Multiple Births Association, explains:

"Older women, so women in their late thirties, early forties, are more likely to hyper-ovulate. This means they're more likely to release two eggs or more per cycle than younger women. Therefore it is believed that's why there's a higher incidence of multiple birth babies in older women. As far as we understand, it's due to changing levels of hormones."

And, as Meghan is turning 37 in the next couple of days, that puts her in the right age bracket for it.

It would make sense that the pair are planning to start a family soon, but we mustn't jump to conclusions just yet. Instead, we'll just have to sit back, watch this space, and contain our excitement until we know something for sure.

So 2018 certainly has been a big year for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, hasn't it? They got married, announced they were expecting their first child, and managed to make headlines practically any time they stepped outside. And guess what - they've only gone and done it again.

Well, sort of.

This week, two Meghan and Harry "living" wax dolls were revealed at Madame Tussauds in Berlin as part of a new attraction. Rather than wowing their audience as they were intended to, however, the duke and duchess lookalikes left visitors to the museum horrified, and it's not hard to see why!

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Two actors wearing wax heads were hired to pose as the royal couple, which sounds kinda fun (maybe?), but ended up being utterly terrifying. Perhaps it's their uncanny resemblance to Meghan and Harry, or maybe it's because of how large their heads are, or, you know, it might have something to do with their cold, dead eyes - but something just isn't ok in these pictures.

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Harry looks excited, sure, but Meghan looks like she's having some sort of flashback of an embarrassing mistake she made back in 1998. Or maybe she ate some bad turkey at Christmas dinner - who knows. Either way, it's not as bad as this mess:

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WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS OK? Like, seriously, who saw these two people in their wax headgear and thought, "Sure, let's market this as a positive experience."

It is the stuff of nightmares, and I am not the only one who thinks so.

"These are going to haunt me in my sleep," commented one Twitter user.

"Omg, what a hoot!" added another. "So fake it's ridiculous."

And a third summed up what we're all thinking with the simple comment: "dear god why."

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The thing is, the wax heads aren't badly designed at all. Harry actually looks good enough that you might just mistake him for the real deal (if you were in a dark room, perhaps, which is probably the last place you'd ever want to encounter a 5'10 dude with a wax mask), and Meghan's replica is good enough to be easily recognisable. It's just that wax works should not move. They shouldn't dance around wearing Christmas jumpers. And they absolutely should not be doing whatever the heck this is:

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So, to whomever made these: well done for your courageous efforts, but NO THANK YOU for all the nightmares I'm going to have for the next six months. Next time, stick to the non-living models, please.

To quote the great American poet, Beyoncé, "if you liked it, then you should've put a ring on it." In 2011, we discovered Prince William "liked it," as he married Kate Middleton. Now we have exciting news about another member of The Royal Family. Prince Harry is officially engaged to American actress Meghan Markle. Congratulations, Meghan! You're going to be a princess! It's not quite as glamorous as your previous job, "briefcase model" on the game show Deal or No Deal, but it's close. Now that we know about the engagement, there's one thing we're all wondering. What Prince Harry will be wearing at the wedding! Just kidding. Nobody cares about that. He could probably attend the ceremony dressed as a storm trooper and nobody would notice. It's all about the princess bride. Since Harry proposed, we're dying to catch a glimpse of the engagement ring. Will it contain a core of phoenix feather, like Harry Potter's magic wand? Will it be an exact replica of "The One Ring" from Lord of the Rings? Or will it just be an onion ring, to celebrate Meghan's American heritage? All three options are equally plausible. This morning, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle made their first appearance as an engaged couple in the Kensington Palace Memorial's sunken gardens. Reporters asked them hard hitting questions, like "How are you feeling?" and "Was the proposal romantic?" Meghan replied she was feeling "happy" and the proposal was indeed "romantic." That was pretty shocking. I thought she'd say she was feeling lugubrious, and that the proposal was "romantic, but not quite as romantic as an episode of Deal Or No Deal." Then, to the delight of everyone present, she showed off her big, fat rock. If you're married, you must be warned, this ring will make the ring your husband gave you look like total garbage: When you see something that beautiful, it takes your breath away. I'm talking about her fingernails. Meghan's manicure game is on fleek. She doesn't chew her nails at all - very impressive. Also, that sparkly ring thing is okay, too. ABC News reports that it's a custom creation featuring three diamonds. The center stone comes from Botswana, where Harry and Meghan got to know each other on a camping trip. The other two come from the personal collection of Harry's mother, the late Princess Diana, who was tragically killed in a car crash in 1997. [[youtubewidget||https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4bggWZWqSA]] Prince Harry said that he proposed to Meghan a couple weeks ago, after dinner in his cottage. He wore a sexy bikini and held up a briefcase with a number on it. When Meghan picked that briefcase, our favorite royal opened it up, revealing the ring, and she said "Deal!" Just kidding, again. That's not what happened. But Prince Harry did open up to reporters, talking about his love for Meghan. "The fact that I fell in love with Meghan so quickly was confirmation for me that all the stars were aligned. Everything was just perfect. This beautiful woman just literally tripped and fell in my life." Congratulations to the new royal couple! Prince Harry, we're glad you liked it, and put a ring on it.

People love conspiracy theories. According to one theory, the world was going to be obliterated by the "death planet" Nirubu on April 23. (Yeah, it's June 11, but maybe it will happen next April 23!) According to another theory, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau is the son of Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. (Both countries start with a 'c' and end with 'a' - that can't be a coincidence!) And according to another theory, Keanu Reeves is immortal. (Watch Point Break - the man doesn't age!)

The latest conspiracy theory concerns the Duchess Of Sussex, and Greatest Deal Or No Deal Briefcase Girl, Meghan Markle. Last month she married Prince Harry, as I'm sure you're aware, unless you were shipwrecked and living on a desert island in a Cast Away situation. The newlyweds have been making public appearances, but viewers were shocked to see the "royal couple" appear on Britain's Got Talent.

However, something about the royal couple seemed a bit off. As one eloquent YouTuber put it, "her face does not move. Look at that. Are you f---ing kidding me? That's not normal. Bro. Get out of here. What is that? That's some Illuminati shit." Indeed. Has the royal couple been replaced by robots? Where are the real Harry and Meghan? Or have they always been roots? Did they ever really exist?!

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The conspiracy theory spread on Twitter, as users wondered what up with the royal couple's baffling appearance. One person asked, "WHY IS MEGHAN MARKLE LOOKING LIKE A ROBOT?!" Another user offered an answer: "When u keep breaking the royal rules so they decide you can't be trusted in public and replace you with a robot."

Meghan has been breaking a lot of rules, as the first royal of color, the first royal divorcée and first royal to wear a poo emoji hat. Is the Queen so offended that she locked the real Meghan Markle in a dungeon and replaced her with a robot?!

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Well, sorry conspiracy theorists, but it turns out Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have not been replaced by robots. See, that wasn't the royal couple. It was two audience members wearing eerily life-like masks, created by Madame Tusseaud's London. For years, they've created wax figurines of celebrities, and now they're launching "Live Figures."

"In a world’s first for Madame Tussauds London, we are launching Live Figures, an exciting new step in the famous fun experience we offer our guests.

We have chosen Their Royal Likenesses the Duke and Duchess of Sussex for this new innovation.

Britain’s Got Talent is the perfect moment to show the public a first glimpse of our Live Figures before they make their official arrival in the attraction later this month."

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The live figures of Harry and Meghan will arrive at Madame Tusseaud's London later this month. Or, will those live figures be the real Harry and Meghan? The conspiracy continues...