The famous “honeymoon” period at the start of a relationship often has two loving partners infatuated with one another. The emotional vulnerability, the desire for the other’s affection, and the sex — these are just some of the aspects that make up this exciting stage in the lifespan of love.

But over time, for many couples, that intensity begins to diminish. While people often blame the loss of novelty, therapists say the reality is much more nuanced.

What do the experts say?

Relationship and sex therapist Briony Montgomery explained to Body+Soul that feeling completely secure with a partner can actually sometimes reduce sexual desire rather than strengthen it.

In the early stages of a romantic connection, the nervous system is fueled by uncertainty, adrenaline, and anticipation. Once the relationship becomes stable, that emotional intensity can disappear too.

“When your body is constantly scanning for what might go wrong, it’s very difficult to drop into pleasure,” Montgomery said. Ironically, once the sense of danger or unpredictability fades, “sometimes the charge goes with it.”

According to experts, this underlying anxiety can directly affect intimacy, because a nervous system stuck in survival mode isn’t naturally wired for desire.

“Research shows that people who fear being cared for also report higher anxiety and stress,” Balakas explained. “It’s not about pride, it’s about protection.”

Psychologist Taash Balakas believes this ties into how some people emotionally process care and attachment.

For individuals who grew up relying heavily on themselves, often because reliable support was missing, being looked after can actually feel uncomfortable or even threatening.

Experts discuss alternative reasons behind loss of sexual relationship

The emotional stakes in long-term relationships also play a major role. Ending a short-term romance can hurt, but losing someone deeply woven into your daily life, a partner who shares your home, knows your family, and forms part of your routine, creates a much deeper psychological fear.

Therapists say the body responds very differently to those two kinds of loss, and sexual desire often gets tangled up in that emotional tension.

Balakas claims the solution starts with learning to feel safe receiving love and support.

“Softening doesn’t mean losing your independence,” she claimed. “It means allowing yourself to experience care without assuming it will disappear.”

For people who have spent many years expecting abandonment or emotional disappointment, that kind of vulnerability can feel far scarier than the passionate uncertainty of a new relationship.

Featured Image. Credit: Flashpop / Getty

Depending on what stage of a relationship you're in with your partner, the frequency at which you get intimate might vary. For instance, if you're at the beginning of something new and exciting, you might find yourselves hopping into bed at pretty much any opportunity you can get. But, if you're in something longer term, you'll probably go at it less often and learn to appreciate all the other times you get with your significant other just as much as the sexy ones. And, if you're married - well, I'm not going to stoop so low and suggest you don't have any sex life at all. But, y'know... Anyway, regardless of how much nookie you are (or aren't) getting at the moment, it's safe to say that sexual desire is different for everyone. But, according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, sex is not just a want, but a need. Along with food, water, warmth, sleep, shelter, and - of course - air, sex is at the very base of our being and we depend on it in order to keep ourselves going. So what happens if you have it every day? Brittany Gibbons, an American author, explained how having sex every day for a year helped with her body confidence and vastly improved the communication between her and her partner. And, after hearing her story, many other people began to wonder whether getting it on every 24 hours could help them improve other aspects of their life, too. However, according to some sex therapists, the issue isn't so cut and dry. Dr Sheri Jacobson, the clinical director of Harley Therapy, spoke with Indy100 about how Gibbons' experience is probably very different to how most other people's would be. "[Gibbons] was in a safe relationship, where she could say yes or no, state her needs, and be vulnerable. In this unique circumstance, then yes, perhaps sex could lead to body confidence," she said. "But we certainly could not take this story and then state ‘sex every day builds body confidence.’" By contrast, it could really do some damage. "Sex every day with, for example, various partners and strangers, especially if you have a traumatic past involving some sort of sexual abuse, could lead to shame, feelings of worthlessness, dissociation from the body, and depression," explained Dr. Jacobson. She went on: "It could mean we were pushing ourselves to have sex just to ‘keep the record going’, instead of listening to ourselves and recognising our needs in each moment, which is so essential if we at all suffer low self-esteem. "So it could equally be a terribly dangerous game to play." Essentially, like eating and sleeping, having sex is an action that needs to be based on intuition. We don't eat food or take a nap if we're not hungry or tired - so why do the dirty if our bodies aren't telling us to? Ultimately, it's really down to how the individual feels about it. "If you were with a loving partner or partners, and it was something you'd decided to do for fun, it might lead to better connection, and improved sexual confidence," the doctor said, "but you'd have to both be wanting sex at the same time and prioritise individual needs on a day-to-day basis over any 'ticking off a day on the calendar.'" She went on to say that "Any big declaration you intend to have sex every day for a year with many different people is far less likely to be about body confidence and more likely to be a sign of deep-rooted issues, including trauma, sex addiction, or histrionic personality disorder." As great as it may sound, having sex every day is likely to be damaging for people who don't particularly want it, and a sign of deeper issues for those who do. This is not to say that it can't be done. After all, Gibbons seemed to have a pretty good experience with it. But, like all good things, sex should be enjoyed in moderation.

A dating expert has shared the main reason why women stop having sex with their husbands.

Relationships can be tricky things to navigate and even when you think you've finally got the hang of it, something always manages to catch you off guard.

But what happens when key components of the relationship - like intimacy - start to fade?

Well, a dating expert has revealed why some men need to be wary when their partner stops initiating and taking part in sexy time with them.

A relationship expert has revealed why some women stop having sex with their partners. Credit: Witthaya Prasongsin/Getty

Dr. Sarah Hensley, a dating coach who has a PhD in social psychology, has revealed the biggest reason why some women stop having sex with their man.

“The primary reason why women stop having sex with their husbands is because they don’t feel emotionally safe," she said in a TikTok clip that has amassed over 2.9 million views.

“The reason that they don’t feel emotionally safe is because their attachment needs are not being met inside of their relationship.”

She continued: "Attachment needs our deepest needs inside of a romantic relationship, and if those things are not fulfilled we will not feel emotionally safe.

"Especially for women when there is a lack of emotional safety, they start feeling very unsafe giving their bodies to their partner, and they start to feel extremely unattracted to their partner."

Hasley stated that why women stop having sex with their husbands is because they don’t feel emotionally safe. Credit: EmirMemedovski/Getty

Hensley then went on to state that some people need more love and reassurance while others need a lack of criticism and harmony within their relationship.

“The anxious preoccupied their biggest need is love, affection, and reassurance. So they need lots of reassurance every single day that you love them and that the relationship is stable," she said.

"For the dismissive-avoidant woman, it’s going to be space autonomy, and lack of criticism, aka peace and harmony inside the relationship."

The creator added that she sees a lot of this mismatch when it comes to relationship breakdowns and while women may be expressing their needs on a daily basis, they are not being met by their partner, thus creating this unstable environment for them.

While this has been backed up by research into the issue, others also commented on other factors that could also be playing a role in the lack of intimacy in a relationship.

As per the dating coach, women tend to feel physically turned off when their emotional needs are not being met. Credit: Kinga Krzeminska/Getty

"I think hormonal changes play a bigger part," commented one user while another added: "Broken trust is a huge turn off."

A third even recalled their own personal experiences, writing: "My emotional needs werent fulfilled when I had to act like his mother: take care of him like to a child. He was 100% capable adult man."

And this user added: "And they act so surprised when you're not in the mood after they shouted with you all day long and broke some things around the house."

What do you think about the issue?

Featured Image Credit: Eleganza/Getty

While we often see big mistakes such as cheating ending relationships or otherwise causing difficulties, we end up neglecting the smaller, day-to-day things that can go on to have a greater effect in the long run. These small habits can make or break a relationship, affecting you or your partner's feelings towards each other. If you're married, this can be even worse, with divorces being a much longer and heartbreaking process for both parties. But what bad habits often lead to the end of a marriage? These professional therapists detail what habits to avoid if you want your marriage to stay afloat.

1. Not seeing things from their perspective

One of the most essential things for any sort of relationship is empathy. If you don't step into your partner's shoes from time to time, you're setting your relationship up for disaster. 'Accepting influence' is a term that refers to your ability to understand your significant other's perspective. Apparently, men struggle to develop this skill more than women, who tend to be more empathetic neurologically.

Diane Gehart, professor marriage and family therapy at California State University, said that "marriages in which men don't accept influence from their wives are at a much higher risk for divorce". To back her up, research from the Gottman Institute found that when men don't do this, marriage has an 81 percent chance of failing.

2. Talking behind their backs

While this may seem like obvious advice, you will likely find yourself criticising your SO from time to time, but this isn't necessarily a healthy habit. Carrie Cole, a couples therapist and certified Gottman master trainer at the Center for Relationship Wellness in Houston, said that:

"Women may fall into this habit if they're surrounded by people doing the same thing. If your close group of girl friends are constantly talking poorly about their own husbands, it may feel more normal for you to chime in and say, 'You think yours is bad? Listen to mine.' It shows a lack of respect for him and your connection, even if he never finds out"

3. Comparing them to others

It's never good to compare your current partner with anyone else, whether it's an ex, a friend, or one of your friend's SOs. "Even if you're only making notes in your mind, it can kill a relationship over time," Cole explained. Your partner is always going to have faults, but you need to focus on the good, bearing in mind that the grass always looks greener from the other side.

4. Starting fights aggressively

If you feel like you have been treated unfairly, or have been insulted in some way, it can be hard not to go to 11 immediately. But starting arguments at your angriest won't solve anything. "Women are more likely to raise issues aggressively than men are," Gehart said, referencing a study by Dr. Jennifer Kromberg, which found that men are usually able to calm down and analyze a situation faster than women, who are more likely to go by how they feel.

5. Not knowing when to stop an argument

Disengaging from arguments, eventually, often makes it easier to resolve problems, rather than letting it spiral out of control as you become more emotional. Without a break, you can become less able to communicate what you think and feel.

"When people shut down during conflict, it's usually because their heart rates have skyrocketed to over 100 beats per minute, which throws you into fight or flight response," Cole said. "When that happens, you lose access to the part of your brain — the frontal lobe — that gives you communication skills. So sometimes you literally can't speak coherently, even when you try."

6. Pretending things are fine

While you might think that when you "put on a good face" you're fooling everyone, but there are telltale signs, such a pale complexion and dilated pupils.

Couples therapist Sue Johnson says that "these are all signs that someone is overwhelmed with their own emotions and shifting into a flight or fight mode, so they simply can't tune into their partner in a way that shapes a safe dialogue."

While doing this a little is bound to happen, the more you do the more likely it is that you get into the habit of not being emotionally honest with your partner.

7. Not arguing at all

If you don't bother to argue or even poke fun at the things that irritate you, it means you've stopped putting energy into the relationship. Getting things out into the open is better than quiet resentment or indifference, Gehart explains.

8. Not confronting your problems

Arguments can be so exhausting that it can be easier to let your problems go rather than addressing them. Unfortunately, this often leads them to fester and become much worse.

"By the time many couples make their first therapy appointment," Cole says. "The toxic dynamics have been in place for so long that it's harder to undo the damage".

While your marriage may not be on the line right now, it's always good to keep it healthy and prevent any heartbreak further down the line. Nipping these behaviors in the bud will stop them from developing into toxic habits that are difficult to break, and give you the freedom to enjoy your life together. H/T: Redbook

In the early days of falling in love, it can be hard to not get all hot and heavy around your partner. Yes, during the honeymoon period, you don't just receive all the romantic effluvia that's normally reserved for Hollywood rom-coms, but it's also the time when you'll experience the best sex of your relationship. While this may be rather disconcerting news for new couples, it makes sense. During the initial stages of a relationship, everything is new and exciting; every gesture becomes reminiscent of some grand romance, every whispered "I love you" reads like a profession of udying love and naturally, it's the time when you are the most desirous of your partner. Give it a few years, however, and things will inevitably start to change. For starters, you'll start to bicker about innocuous things, then you'll start to find their once-adorable eccentricities somewhat grating - and finally, your sex life will take a beating. But what exactly, other than familiarity and routine, causes this to happen? The experts have the answers. A recent study analysed data from a sample survey taken between 2010 and 2012 which quizzed people on their sex lives. The study included 4,839 men and 6,669 women between the ages of 16 and 74 years old, who had at least one sexual encounter in the last year.