Relationships4 min(s) read
Sex therapist who has slept with 400 of her own clients reveals partner's surprising reaction to her job
A sex therapist who has been intimate with over 400 clients has shared the details of her controversial career and the surprising reaction of her partner to her work.
Kaly Miller calls herself a "surrogate partner," which means she helps clients navigate their intimacy issues by teaching them about love and sexuality, and even engaging in sexual activities to facilitate this process.
Miller's Journey
The 52-year-old initially worked as a remedial sports massage therapist before discovering her calling in intimacy therapy.
After seeing an advertisement for "open-minded body workers," she learned that becoming a surrogate partner was her true path.
"I was not expecting it," she said.
"I don’t think anyone sits at home and says, ‘I’m going to be a surrogate partner.’ I think everyone is taken on a journey."
Miller's journey began when she worked with a client in his 60s who had spent his life struggling with intimacy.
"I don’t want to die without knowing what love feels like," he told her, a moment that solidified her decision to pursue this unique career.
"At that point, [the client] liked going round to the corner shop to pay with coins because the only touch they ever had was when they paid the cashier and brushed hands," she said.
"He used to look out of the window, and this woman that passed by, and he would imagine [being in love] but never quite ever having the experience, or the confidence, or the experience to move forward," she said.
"Then are there, I felt I am in the right space... everyone has a karma or something to fulfil, but this is my thing," she added.
She worked with him for a year, helping him overcome decades of shame and embarrassment about intimacy. By the end of their sessions, he was able to form a long-term, intimate relationship.
Her Career and the Price of an Hour with Miller
In 2014, Miller took a significant step by enrolling in a three-year university degree in Erotology, the study of human sexual love and desire.
She also studied under Vena Blanchard, president of the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA), to deepen her knowledge and skill in the field.
For the past seven years, she has run her own practice, The Naked Room, working independently without supervision.
She estimates that she has worked with approximately 400 clients. Miller charges £250 ($344) for an hour-long session, with prices escalating up to £1,250 ($1,700) for a five-hour session.
She starts her process with a free “exploratory” Zoom call with potential clients to ensure they understand what they are asking for and that she feels comfortable working with them.
She stresses the importance of safety and professionalism, always meeting clients at a hotel of her choice, where they are required to pay for all travel and accommodation.
She also insists that clients provide recent STI tests and sign consent forms before engaging in any physical intimacy.
"My safety is paramount: I have a tracking device on my phone and always check in with a friend or family member when I get home," she added.
Partner's Support and Family Reaction
Despite the controversial nature of her work, Miller revealed that her loved ones are extremely supportive of her career.
“My kids and my parents are my number one fans,” she shared.
“My mum’s reaction when I explained to them what I was working as was, ‘I think I would be a really good surrogate partner!’”
She also surprisingly revealed that she had a partner when she started the job.
Whilst many would expect there to be jealousy, she said that they understood her work, adding that "they cannot question what I’m doing" because "my journey is their journey".
As the sex therapist continues her work, she remains dedicated to providing a safe and transformative experience for her clients. "This is what I was born for," she concluded.