A sex therapist has divided opinion on social media this week after claiming that straight men can have sex with men without them identifying as gay.

The controversial claims were made by Dr. Joe Kort, a sex therapist and openly gay man, who shared to video to his social media accounts.

Dr. Kort has managed to accrue over 304,000 followers on TikTok due to the incisive and instructive videos he routinely shares on the platform, which are aimed at helping people of all genders and sexualities manage their relationships and love lives.

However, in the video in question, which you can view above, Dr. Kort espouses the belief that straight men are often able to have sex that exists outside the predefined boundaries of their supposed sexual identity.

Dr. Kort states:

"In general men have more transactional sex with one another, in general women don't. Men have objectified sex where it's just about the act, it's just about getting off."

The video currently boasts over 665,000 views, 33,000 reactions, and a further 18,000 comments, with many people agreeing with Kort's assessment.

For instance, one TikTok user wrote: "i actually totally understand exactly what you mean, I'm sorry there's so many fragile men in the comments. [sic]"

Meanwhile, someone else wrote: "I get what you're saying.. the real question is why are people so offended. You're not saying anything hateful and you have the great example."

Another person commented: "People amaze me! The double standard too. Some women 'make out' with other women and are [100%] straight. (guys don't mind that so much!)"

However, other viewers were more skeptical.

One critic wrote: "Your license to practice & doctorate need to be revoked. [sic]"

Someone else simply commented: "Straight men don't do that."

Some people couldn't make up their minds on the subject at all, with one person writing: "I see where he's coming from kinda. But it's still [suspicious.]"

Kort expanded upon his claims in another video entitled: "Straight men sleep with other men because of narcissism."

In this video, Kort states: "The straight man who is having sex with another man is into it because the guy is into him. It's all about him."

Kort adds: "Women don't really show that kind of adoration to men in the same way that gay men will do that for other men."

A former sex worker turned certified sexologist has opened up about the hidden reasons many married men cheat on their partners, claiming it often has far less to do with sex than people may assume.

According to some studies, around 20% of men admit to infidelity, tapping into the rhetoric around married males being cheats.

What did the former sex worker say?

During an unreserved interview on the Women of Impact with Lisa Bilyeu podcast, Carol Osborne, was asked why men in committed relationships would pay for intimacy they supposedly already had at home.

“What on earth were they coming to you for that they couldn’t get at home?” the host asked.

According to the former escort, many men initially believed they simply wanted a physical experience, but deeper emotional issues quickly surfaced.

Why do men cheat on their partners? Credit: Flashpop / Getty

“Men would come to me thinking that they just wanted to get their rocks off,” she explained. “And what would be revealed pretty quickly was that they weren’t being seen or acknowledged or witnessed for their full selves.”

The former sex worker claimed many clients felt emotionally unheard in their marriages and private lives, leading them to open up to her in ways they never would with a spouse, friend, or even a therapist.

“They would end up sharing things with me that they would never tell a spouse, a partner, a best friend, a conventional therapist,” she said.

The former sex worker also argued that many men feel trapped by expectations surrounding masculinity, from always needing to appear strong and stoic to constantly being expected to want sex.

“So much of that is rooted in performance,” she said, adding that men often feel pressure around “being masculine and being stoic and providing.”

Behind closed doors, however, she claimed the reality was much more emotionally complicated.

“There were men that were so deeply in love with their wives,” she explained, “but their wives weren’t having sex with them and they would try to bring it up… and they were just being met with rejection across the board.”

The sex therapist's controversial perspective

She went on to compare sexual rejection for men to emotional invalidation for women.

“Rejection there for a man is the equivalent of women’s emotions being totally rejected and minimized,” Osborne said.

The coach argued that many couples struggle because they simply lack the emotional language to discuss intimacy honestly. According to her, repeated rejection without communication can slowly create resentment and emotional distance.

“They didn’t have the lexicon and the language around being able to communicate with their partners,” she explained. “Most people don’t.”

Eventually, she claimed, couples can fall into what she described as a painful “gridlock,” where neither partner fully understands the other’s unmet needs.

The former escort was also critical of traditional couples therapy, claiming that very few therapists are specifically trained in sexuality or intimacy issues.

“Less than 14% of therapists are trained in anything to do with sexuality,” Osborne added.

She argued that some couples leave therapy feeling even more ashamed, particularly if they’re told things like, “You should have duty sex,” or “you should not expect to have sex with your partner.”

According to her, this unresolved shame can quietly grow over time until one partner emotionally checks out of the relationship.

She described the process as “silent atrophy,” explaining that some people begin accepting unhappiness as normal.

“This is as good as it gets,” she said, describing the mindset that can develop. “So I’m going to keep the cookie cutter relationship over here and I’m going to go over here to get this need met.”

Now working as a sexologist, she says her goal is helping men communicate openly before secrecy or infidelity becomes part of the relationship.

“What my work is rooted in now is finding ways for men to start telling the truth and communicating and disclosing parts of themselves without blowing up their marriage or without having to go to the sex worker,” she explained.

She also made a provocative claim about modern relationships, saying: “A man’s yearning for freedom is the same as a woman’s for commitment. Neither of them have anything to do with love.”

Featured Image. Credit: Flashpop / Getty

A former sex worker has opened up about her career and has explained why she believes married men cheat on their wives.

Marriage is supposed to be a happy union between two people who are presumably madly in love with each other.

However, things can quickly go wrong and while getting a divorce is a completely reasonable thing to do, cheating on your partner isn't.

Despite this, people cheating on their partners seems all too commonplace in today's world, and some people can't understand why.

Well, lucky for you, a former sex worker has revealed why she believes it happens.

Writing for the Daily Mail, Amanda Goff - also known as Samantha X - has delved into her former work.

Known for her bestselling books and as the head of her own escort agency, she spent a decade working with men from all walks of life, including single, widowed, divorced, and many married clients.

Reflecting on her experience, she observed that men excel at two things: separating love from sex and lying.

"If there's one thing married men taught me, it was not to get married," she shared.

Here, in her own words, are the four main reasons she believes men cheat:

1. Someone to Talk To

"Believe it or not, men like to talk. They are emotional and extremely vulnerable," she explained, noting that many married men feel unable to be vulnerable at home.

Often too scared to appear “weak” or cause their partners stress, they seek out someone neutral who can listen without judgment.

For these men, the thousands spent on an escort is often preferred to therapy. “I don’t want to be judged,” was a common refrain she heard.

2. They Miss Foreplay

According to her, many married men miss the intimacy of foreplay.

"Men secretly want to spend hours in bed with you but say they got sick of being rejected,” she revealed.

Many expressed frustration at the quick encounters that lack time and care, saying they miss pleasuring their partners in a way that feels meaningful. In the end, they craved moments that weren’t rushed, even if they didn’t lead to sex.

3. The Fallout of an Affair

While society often assumes men are the primary culprits in cheating, she points out that women stray, too.

"They're the ones that get caught,” she remarked, noting that for men, the discovery of a partner’s infidelity can have intense consequences.

She recalled a client who, reeling after his wife left him for her personal trainer, spent hours talking "fully dressed" about his heartbreak. Another man, stunned by his wife’s departure, admitted he couldn’t even boil an egg.

She believes that while wives may sometimes forgive a husband’s infidelity, men’s egos make it harder for them to let go. In many cases, men feel the need to retaliate, justifying their own actions as a way to restore balance.

4. Seeing an Escort Doesn’t Mean They Don’t Love You

Lastly, she addresses a crucial misconception: “Seeing an escort doesn’t mean they don’t love you.”

She insists that for many, the appeal of an escort lies not in looking for a relationship, but rather in finding temporary companionship.

“Men are like puppies that chew your shoes, they just can’t help themselves,” she added with a wry humor, emphasizing that the connection sought is rarely meant to replace the love they have for their spouses.

So there we have it...

Featured image credit: franckreporter/Getty

In 2018, one would hope that gay conversion therapy is something that is long behind us. Unfortunately, that assumption would be wrong. Despite numerous studies asserting that you can't change a person's sexuality and medical, scientific, and governmental organisations all expressing concern, "reparative therapy" remains a dark reality for some homosexual people.

So, why are some people so determined to stop homosexual people loving who they want to love? Surprisingly - or perhaps unsurprisingly depending on how you look at it - researchers have asserted that the answer to this question could lie in the idea that homophobic people are actually more likely to be gay themselves.

Back in 2012, teams from the University of Rochester in New York, the University of California and the University of Essex analysed four separate experiments which had taken place in the US and Germany, looking at the discrepancies between what people say about their sexual orientation and their implicit sexual orientation based on a reaction-time test. They concluded that there was empirical evidence to suggest that in some individuals, homophobia is actually the external manifestation of repressed sexual desires they feel towards their own gender.

However, this study came to life recently when it was revealed that a Toronto-based psychiatrist who practised gay “cure” therapy had been found guilty of sexual misconduct. Reparative therapy advocate Dr Melvyn Iscove, 72, who was registered as a psychiatrist with the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario, has been suspended indefinitely for having sex with his gay patients.

Iscove, who was described by Ontario's medical regulator as having a "special interest" in treating gay patients, was found to have engaged in sex acts with men he was treating during therapy sessions, as well as once having sexual intercourse with a male patient in his office. The allegations, which date back to the late 1990s and early 2000s, state that the psychiatrist had engaged in mutual masturbation and oral sex with two male patients on different occasions, as well as anal penetration with another.

In a horrible twist, the men involved are said to have believed that the sexual abuse was "part of the therapy". The College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario’s discipline committee wrote: “Neither complainant described any emotional or romantic aspects of the sexual activity with Dr Iscove, and both said that at some point, they thought that the sexual activity was part of the therapy and an attempt to cure them of homosexuality by engaging in the acts, rather than fantasizing about them.”

Doctors found to have had sex with a patient automatically lose their licences, so Iscove’s licence was immediately suspended after the panel found him guilty of the allegations. However, the 72-year-old has denied all claims and is said to be considering an appeal: “We're both very disappointed with the result, obviously,” said Iscove’s lawyer, Alfred Kwinter. “Dr. Iscove has always denied the allegations, he continues to do so, and he's seriously considering an appeal.”

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Nonetheless, the Toronto Star reports that this isn't the only sexual harassment case that the gay "cure" therapist is facing; the doctor still faces a separate disciplinary hearing for an allegation of “improper conduct in a public men’s washroom,” according to his profile on the College of Physicians’ online register.

The Toronto-based psychiatrist's case is, unfortunately, one of many similar instances which have seen homophobic people eventually coming out as gay. Take the case of Ted Haggard, for example. As the founder and former pastor of the New Life Church in Colorado Springs and "one of the most influential evangelicals in America", Haggard strongly opposed gay marriage.

However, in November 2006, it was revealed that the father of five had engaged in a three-year sexual relationship with a male escort who he also paid for crystal meth. Haggard, who had been married for 30 years, denied the claims, but after a voicemail featuring him asking his lover for drugs was released, his story unravelled and he was forced to admit guilt and resigned from the church.

Although the idea of homophobic people repressing their own homosexual urges is certainly not true for all cases, it's certainly an intriguing explanation for some. Professor Ryan, a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester in New York, commented on this idea of homophobic homosexuals, stating that they are more likely to come from conservative authoritarian households which forbade such desires.

"People who have homophobic attitudes, who are more prejudice or discriminatory against gay people, are themselves more likely to have a discrepancy between their unconscious attractions to same-sex partners than what they are aware of," he explains. "Those people who have such discrepancies, who have really a split between their unconscious attraction and what they consciously say about themselves, are more likely to come from authoritarian homes. If you are a parent who really believes your child should be straight, and when you use whatever means you can to convince them that they're only good and worthy if they are, that would be very controlling and it creates a lot of conflict in the child."

Although the reasons behind homophobic behaviour are important, we must remember the true victims of situations like these: gay men who encounter homophobia. More specifically in the case of Dr Melvyn Iscove, the two patients who felt as if they had to "fix" themselves by attending gay "cure" therapy and who were then taken advantage of. We can only hope that "reparative therapy", still legal in 41 states, swiftly becomes a thing of the past.