Relationships3 min(s) read
Published 11:58 08 Jul 2026 GMT
A sex and relationship therapist has sparked backlash for his "disgusting" advice to women in relation to the apparent phenomenon of straight men cheating on their wives with other men.
Dr. Joe Kort made the comments in a video shared with his nearly 25,000 Instagram followers. In the clip, he suggested that some married men pursue these sexual experiences for reasons unrelated to sexual orientation, while also questioning whether female partners are willing to understand their motivations.
His remarks quickly prompted criticism online, with many viewers accusing him of excusing infidelity and blaming women.
Several commenters described the therapist's take as "disgusting," while others rejected his explanation entirely.
At the start of the video, Dr. Kort asked: "Did you know that some straight men hook up with other men because women won't do what they want to do?"
He said "countless straight men" had spoken to him during therapy about watching adult content together and masturbating in front of one another, describing it as "a bonding experience."
According to Dr. Kort, the men are "not attracted to the man they're doing this with." Instead, he argued the encounters are driven by "competition, curiosity, validation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, about a shared experience that they report they can't get with their wives."
He also claimed these men are looking for validation from other men rather than sexual intimacy.
"They want to be watched, they want to be told even that they enjoy what they're looking at, that they enjoy being seen, that they have a big one, a small one, a wide one, a valuable one," he said. "It’s about male validation and people just can't wrap their head around this."
Later in the video, Dr. Kort referred to "beta clubs," claiming "there's no touching and there's nothing from the waist down. It's all about watching and being seen and self-pleasuring."
He concluded by acknowledging that many people would argue these activities should be discussed openly with a spouse before asking: "The issue people will say in here is they should be doing it honestly and talking about it honestly with their female partners, but the question is are female partners open to understanding this, that it's not about being gay and that it's not about being bi."
After inviting followers to share their opinions, Dr. Kort was met with a wave of criticism in the comments.
One person wrote: "This is disgusting… They are gay don’t go blaming women for this."
Another added: "That is cheating and also gay 😂 the extremes men will go to pretend they are straight when the whole world is sooo men for men 😂."
A third commented: "No straight man watches his buddy get off and it turns him unless he is gay or bi. They may convince themselves that they are aren’t but they are. They are on the DL and it’s a bloody shame that they have to hide it still in 2026."
Others argued that regardless of how someone identifies their sexuality, engaging in sexual activity outside an agreed relationship would still amount to cheating.
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